Uproar Over 'No Impaired Driving' Signs Makes Motherless Girl Cry

FLANDERS, NY — Signs outside a Flanders home urging motorists not to drive under the influence or text and drive stand as a testament to two beloved family members lost — and to a little girl left motherless by one of the crashes.

The signs came after the greatest of heartbreaks: Resident Susan Tocci advocated for the signs after her sister Barbara Tocci was killed in a head-on crash on Flanders Road in 2014; shortly after, Barbara Tocci's son's fiance, Hayley Riggins, who was on her motorcycle, was killed in a crash involving a driver allegedly driving under the influence of drugs, according to police reports.

One sign, on Tocci's property, says "Save A Life: Do Not Text And Drive," with the years of Barbara Tocci's life, 1966 to 2014. The other, on Flanders Road, shows Hayley holding her infant daughter and says: "Kadence Will Grow Up Without Her Mom: Do Not Drive Under The Influence. Hayley Riggins, 1987 to 2014."

The signs have stood for years but this week, as she was set to drop Kadence off at school, Susan Tocci said a situation arose that brought the child to tears.

Kadence was set to receive a student of the month award but ended up saying, "This was supposed to be a good day and it's the worst!" Tocci said.

As they were headed down the driveway, they were met by three Southampton Town code enforcement officers, Tocci said. "All were pleasant, professional, and helpful, yet they were there with the issue of the sign. Kadence burst into tears, once again."

According to what she was told, town code that had allowed the signs to stay had been changed. Southampton Town Supervisor Jay Schneiderman said he was not aware of the situation.

Tocci suspects some disgruntled community members may have complained about the signs but as of yet, no one has vocalized opposition publically.

The bottom line, she said, was that Kadence, who lost her mother, was upset to see the officers discussing the signs.

"This poor child is holding on to the safety message, so nobody loses their mom like she did," Tocci said.

To whoever lodged a complaint, Tocci said they should come forward: "Maybe you can act like adults and call me instead of continuing to bully a child. You would think my sign was in your neighborhood, the way the complaining continues. Hope you're thrilled you ruined a child's day, yet again, but do not think that this is over yet. The message is to 'save lives.'"

Tocci added that with all the "actual violations in the area," people are questioning a sign, on her own property, that is "nothing more than a public service message. What harm is caused by telling people not to drive under the influence or not to text and drive? I have seen numerous similar signage before a holiday weekend containing messages like 'Click it or ticket' —for the seatbelt law — or 'Stay alive, don't drink and drive.' No one seems to complain about that, but my sign is the downfall of the neighborhood? Seriously? I am convinced that this is nothing other than a personal vendetta that someone has for me."

Even after reading the town code, Tocci said she doesn't believe her signage is in violation. "To take it even further, I'd say that this is a violation of my 1st Amendment right to free speech! There's no vulgarity of any type on my signs, it's simply a reminder that lives were lost due to carelessness. With all the problems that plague our neighborhood, I find it very hard to believe that the town would devote such effort to get me to remove my sign. Aren't there bigger issues that should be addressed before we even consider talking about a sign?" she asked.

Issues such as overcrowding in homes, crime, and other problems loom large, Tocci said. "Perhaps we would all be better served if the town started addressing those issues first, and then once that's taken care of, they could look into whether or not someone is in violation for having a sign on their property."

Kadence, who lives with her father, spends a lot of time with Tocci. Seeing the child brought to tears, Tocci said, was painful.

"She actually made me cry," she said.

Kadence, she said, has had to learn about the impacts of impaired and distracted driving at far too young an age.

"It's terrible this is how she visits her mommy and grandma," she said, pointing to a photo of Kadence hugging the headstone where her grandmother is laid to rest.