Grieving Mother Thanks Wantagh Community For Support After Death of Daughter

The following is a letter Wantagh resident Sandi Vega wrote thanking the community for their love and support after her daughter Brittany crossing Sunrise Highway nearly two years ago. 

To the community: 

It is hard to believe that it's been almost two years since my daughter Brittany was killed.

Everyday that I wake up, the thought of her not being with us is surreal. Her room is still filled with mass cards and all her things. Those things that were so important and precious to her, we can't bear to part with it because everything is now priceless to us.

People always ask us in their own way about how we are doing. The answer is that we are coping....each in our own way but when you lose a child, it doesn't get easier with time at all. It just become another day of coping and getting through the day. Some days are better than others.

While my husband and I don't wake up any longer sobbing as soon as we open our eyes or weak at the knees in despair for her loss, we do miss her terribly as does the rest of her siblings. I have moments throughout the day when I'm alone that Brittany being gone smacks me in the face but for most part, my husband and I are very busy with our other four children and the craziness of the day is a major distraction.

Our youngest child Brian in particular is a wonderful distraction. Brian is our fifth child and our last. Being that Brittany was our first born, Brian often brings back memories of all the wonderful times we had with her and every time we see something that sparks a memory we say "Remember when Brittany did that? or "Brittany did the same thing!".

God is the only one who understands why Brittany was taken to Heaven so early, its part of some great plan he has for us....apparently Brian was also part of his great plan. Strangely, I delivered Brian about 10 months after Brittany's accident at exactly 9:22am...the day Brittany was killed September 22nd. He's a VERY happy baby who hardly complains about anything and is always smiling, a baby that seems to have been special ordered or at least I like to joke around about that. Brittany would have really enjoyed him. He definitely helps with our grief as well as talking about Brittany and hearing other people remember her helps too. 

Throughout these past two years, I've compiled a thorough list if all who "gave" to our family. Alone, we had over 500 people with donations of money, food, flowers and other tokens of love from at least 100 people. The outpouring of love and support was overwhelming and so very much appreciated.

We even had two months of delicious home cooked meals that were made from the heart. People we never met brought these meals right to our front door every few days trying to do something to help and show their sympathy for our family. I was so grateful to have those dinners as it seemed hard to even breath those first few weeks. The gift was priceless. Days to follow were unexplainable as we sat down at our dinner table with a missing place setting, so obvious to everyone that Brittany was missing.

Other donations were so grand in nature that the "donors" asked to be named anonymous.

We are so grateful for all these wonderful things people did for us that I wanted to sit down and write an individual thank you to each and every person as a gesture of our appreciation. In a fog often when I try to think about the whole thing, it was and has been heavy on my mind everyday. My family offered to help me write the thank you notes and I agreed. We sat down numerous amounts of times and tried to sort out who came, what their address were and condense the list since often a few family members came from the same household yet signed the funeral book separately. It was overwhelming to say the least.

As many times as we tried, we failed to get very far. Just opening the funeral book was difficult for me as it brought me back in time, to that place no mother wants to remember. There I was, pushing to thank everyone and causing myself the exact opposite of the comfort everyone wished on us. So I'm accepting the gift that everyone tried to give to our family, both physically and mentally, and I decided to put down that funeral book and write this letter. 

Thank you everyone from the bottom of our hearts for all that you gave to our family and for some, continue to give to our family. Words of encouragement to keep the faith and kind gestures still flow our way even two years later.

This community had banned together like I've never seen before and just the thought of how caring and giving everyone in this town has been, chokes me up every time I think about it. I moved back to Wantagh after living here since I was a Kindergartner at . I moved here to get a great education for Brittany and ironically, she is the one who cannot benefit from the exact reason why she was living here.

While I was so proud of our Blue Ribbon School District and put Wantagh on a pedestal, I never though to make sure the crosswalks were safe for my children. Now I'm doing what I can to help make this area safe to walk in.

Brittany was a freshman at and she should have been able to walk across Sunrise Highway safely if she were allowed to. I now know that these children are trying to experience things earlier than us parents would like them to and I'm trying to embrace it by connecting with as many influential people . This change will never help Brittany but it will help my other four kids in the future along with every other child who will eventually walk these Wantagh streets safely.  

-

Sandi Vega

Wantagh