As families get ready for the holidays this week, many are also waiting to welcome home college students. For those parents with freshman that were away for the first time, we can surely expect that the last four months have been an interesting change for them.
The first semester of college is a life-changing, independence-building, scheduling-shifting, self-finding experience. That means the first extended trip home–whether it be for fall, Thanksgiving or winter break–may require adjusted expectations regarding what the visit will bring.
I think that 'flexibility' will be the most difficult change for parents to accept. Learning to live together once again may prove to be challenging. It will be different. Students may want to maintain their college schedule, which includes falling asleep in the wee hours of the morning, waking up late, and spending as much time as possible visiting friends. While this is understandable, it is not always an equal balance of home time vs. free time, which may make parents feel cheated out of quality family time. There is also the matter of curfew. College students are accustomed to coming and going as they please. Parents would rather not lie awake worrying until 3 a.m., waiting for them to come home.
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It should be expected that students home for the holidays will spend a considerable chunk of their vacation hanging out with high school friends and discovering how these friendships have changed. Being home is a much-needed break for most. It is a chance to catch up on sleep, see old friends and eat meals that aren't served cafeteria-style. I am fairly certain it’s a time they also realize how much they are loved and actually miss all the comforts home.