17-Year Cicada Shaming: Cincinnati Cops Blame Bug In Crash

CINCINNATI — The 17-year periodical cicada didn’t get a ticket.

Even so, the celebrated bug caused a car crash that resulted in minor injuries in Cincinnati on Monday night, police said.

The cicada — newly emerged from the ground after a 17-year slumber and undoubtedly on a mission to mate — flew into an open car window and hit the driver in the face.

The driver lost control and smashed into a utility pole in the 2600 block of Riverside Drive, according to the tweet sent by police. The driver wasn’t cited, either.

That led to wry humor on Twitter.

The reason the cicada wasn’t cited, someone pointed out, was that it was “born with a death sentence.”

“Even worse,” another tweeter tweeted, “you can’t sue a cicada! It’s a total loss.”

Added another tweeter: “Those cicadas aren’t playing.”

No. No, they’re not.

They’re quite literally throwing caution to the wind, though. Their mission is that important.

Despite the complex evolutionary strategy of the 17-year periodical cicadas, these marvels of nature have a simple, almost singular purpose: Go forth and multiply to ensure the species will emerge again in a monotonous cacophony in 17 years, and then crawl off and die.

Related

• As It Turns Out, Bottomless Supply of 17-Year Cicadas Really Is
• You Can Eat The 17-Year Cicadas Emerging In Ohio
• 17-Year Periodical Cicada Love Song: How To Listen In Ohio
• 17-Year Cicadas Are A Call To Citizen Scientists In Ohio

Ohio is among 15 states and the District of Columbia where billions of 17-year cicadas, members of Brood X or the Great Eastern Brood, are emerging from the soil to molt, mate, lay eggs and die.

Many people on Twitter claimed intense dislike for the cicadas.

“I hate cicadas,” someone tweeted, adding “they’re horrifying” and admonishing motorists to keep their windows closed.

Even Cincinnati police acknowledged some bias against the insects by adding the hashtag #nothinggoodhappenswithcicadas to its tweet.

Try telling that to the companies raking in the cash with cicada-themed merchandise or those who insist cicadas are good eating or those citizen scientists collecting cicada data.

Finally, one person asked if the driver had been tested for drugs, which exactly no one agreed was appropriate under the circumstances.

The cicada could have been tripping, though. In some areas, the cicadas could have gotten into a psychoactive fungus — the same property found in “magic” mushrooms — that causes them to act erratically, including copulating until their genitals to fall off.