Missing Monkeys In Cincinnati? Police Go Bananas Solving Mystery

CINCINNATI, OH — Cincinnati police are working to solve a missing-monkey mystery swinging through news reports and social media feeds Thursday.

Police and animal authorities are on the lookout for at least five rogue monkeys who were reportedly last spotted in trees in a Cincinnati cemetery.

Initial reports said the monkeys were from a private collection. With the help of Cincinnati Zoo staff, a search for the monkeys started around 10 p.m. Wednesday in the Price Hill neighborhood, about four miles west of downtown, according to a FOX 19 report.

But here’s where things get funky: No one has reported their monkeys missing, and police have yet to catch a glimpse of the primates.

Police first pursued the case after receiving two calls about monkeys on the loose, according to a Cincinnati Enquirer report. Hamilton County Dispatch also received a call and transferred it to Cincinnati police.

Reports say the monkeys were spotted swinging through trees at St. Joseph Cemetery in East Price Hill. It was unclear from reports what species of monkey was on the loose.

Since receiving the calls, there have been no additional first-person sighting of the monkeys. Stephen Bitner, president of Cincinnati Catholic Cemetery Society, which owns the cemetery, told the Enquirer they even checked security cameras and saw no sign of primate shenanigans.

The cemetery does have a flock of wild turkeys, though, Bitner said.

Whether or not the reports are fake news, officers aren’t monkeying around.

“It may be some misinformation, but we are taking it very seriously,” police Sgt. Joseph Hicks said.

If the monkeys did escape from a private home, the owner could be in for a heap of trouble.

An exotic-animals law enacted in 2012 bans private owners from acquiring, selling and breeding restricted species in Ohio, according to a Columbus Dispatch report. The restricted list includes lions, tigers, bears, elephants, certain monkeys, rhinos, alligators, crocodiles, anacondas and pythons longer than 12 feet, certain vipers, and all venomous snakes.

There’s one caveat: Owners who registered the animals they had prior to the law’s passage were allowed to keep their animals as long as they live, so long as they met caging and care standards set forth by law.

Reports were also unclear on the type of primate on the loose. Baboons would spell certain trouble — these characters put the monkey in monkeying around.

In 2006, troops of baboons were caught ransacking homes, raiding refrigerators and frightening residents in small towns along the South African coast.

Baboons are a formidable primate to encounter, according to an NPR report. Muscular 60-pound male baboons can lift a sliding door off its tracks, NPR reports, while adults are clever enough to send their babies through small windows to snatch food from the kitchen.

Meanwhile, the internet went ape when news of the monkeys’ alleged escape hit social media. The monkeys even had their own Twitter account by Thursday.