Auto-Eroticism Interrupted

Norristown Cops were called April 18, 2018, to rescue a Nissan Pathfinder from unwanted sexual advances from loose woman breeching community standards in her choice of sex objects.

Cops arrived at 5:40 pm to rescue automobile parked on Egypt Rd near Heston, finding suspect attempting to engage SUV in nonconsensual erotic acts.

It was coitus interruptus for our lady. Then her caretakers arrived and were allowed to escort her home. They identified perpetrator as patient suffering from MECHANOPHILIA. Do not hesitate to call the Norristown Police if any further auto-erotic incidents are witnessed.