Greer Father of Three Gay Children Celebrates DOMA Decision

Larry Candler of Greer is excited about the change that he sees happening.

He says while change in the South has been slow to come, he's celebrating the Supreme Court's decision on Wednesday citing the Defense of Marriage Act as unconstitutional.

Candler is not gay, but he has three children who are. He said the court's decision is one that will change lives. 

"This brought tears to my eyes," Candler said. "I am delighted with the decision because it is a big step toward equality."

Candler said for states that recognized same-sex marriage, the decision is one that will allow federal protections for families otherwise left to fend for themselves.

"There are many same-sex couples raising children who don't have a way to protect their families that heterosexual couples have," Candler said. "There are 1,100 benefits granted to heterosexual couples that gay couples don't have. There's no inheritance benefit for gay couples or social security if their partner dies."

Candler said there is still a ways to go with more than two-thirds of the United States not recognizing gay marriage.

In the Upstate, Candler said change is slow. Candler said with the area being mostly Southern Baptist and with the influence of Bob Jones University there's a lot of resistance. 

It's a story Candler knows personally. A member of a Southern Baptist church in 1980, Candler said he and his wife had trouble dealing with the fact that their oldest son came out at the age of 15. Candler said having served in leadership roles in the church, his first thought was to change his son.

"We didn't respond well at all," Candler said of the long and complicated story. "We had a lot of bad information, so our first thought was to change his orientation."

Candler said after taking his son to three to four psychologists, Candler learned it was his attitude that needed to be changed and not his son."

Candler said his son, again 15 at the time, ran away from home. 

"We had put so much pressure on him to change," Candler said. "You have a 15-year-old out there and you have no idea where he is and what he's going through. We realized we had to learn about the issues, we had to learn acceptance for our children."

Candler said they began to attend the Upstate chapter of PFLAG, that was almost 21 years ago. Candler said that the group has continued to grow over the years and that meeting attendance ranges in the 100s for the gay community, parents and friends. 

"There's still a ways to go," Candler said. "But I'm overjoyed and excited today."

Read more:
BJU, Charleston Diocese Disappointed in DOMA Ruling
Upstate Residents Respond to DOMA Decision