North Texans' Sex Drive MIA, Survey Says — Is COVID Salt Peter?

DALLAS, TX —Say it ain't so, Frisco.

According to a survey released by LawnStarter.com (not exactly Gallup, it's easy to say), when you invite a North Texan over to "Netflix and chill," the chances are ... you'll be watching a show rather than getting busy.

The survey, as reported by The Dallas Observer, claims that on a list of supposed horniest cities in America, the city of Frisco limped in at 199, barely edging out Midland at 200.

The glimpse into the sex lives of entire cities was determined by such criteria as online searches for sex-centric visuals and stories, purchases of adult toys, the population of singles in the area, and interviews that included self-identified levels of libido. Oddly, "online dating" (often a euphemism for hooking up) data is as missing in action as the urge to merge among the survey's participants.

Want to be the first to know about Patch membership when it launches? Click here to find out how you can support Patch and local journalism.

Conversely, the places where you're mostly likely to bump into someone on public transport who has more in mind than a destination cuts a wide swath across America regardless of redness or blueness of state (yes, there's a pun in there somewhere).

Horndogs are currently running amok in these cities which comprise the Top 10:

1. Paradise, Nevada
2. Orange, California
3. Hollywood, Florida
4. Providence, Rhode Island
5. Atlanta, Georgia
6. Fort Lauderdale, Florida
7. Newark, New Jersey
8. Dayton, Ohio
9. Tempe, Arizona
10. Baltimore, Maryland

Talk about results that cry out for a recount.

Explanations of WTF (Why This Finding) is so deflating range from COVID-19 and the understandable fear of getting up in someone's grill to the recent protests and the January insurrection.

It does seem that this misery has company, however — because among Texas cities, McKinney comes in at a floppy 192 and Plano can't muster even that much mojo, bringing up the rear at 194. Brownsville is on siesta at 195, Laredo turns in a limpid 196, and the yellow that provides Amarillo its name appears more brown-speckled and wrinkled at 197.

And as for Dallas, it somewhat rises to the challenge at 115, handily beating out that den of decadence, New York City, which put in an anemic appearance at 147th.

Looking for more Dallas news? Subscribe.