Jeff Bezos Banned From Earth? + Epic Epcot Cucumber Snatching

ACROSS AMERICA — Dear space, please keep Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos. Sincerely, Earth.

While it didn’t read quite like that, tens of thousands of people have signed a petition asking Jeff Bezos to simply not return to Earth when he goes to space next month on his New Shepard spacecraft.

The petition was started by Ric G, whose profile on Change.org lists a hometown of Ferndale, Michigan, a Detroit suburb that's known as an enclave for free-thinking progressives. As Ric G sees it, billionaires "should not exist."

They shouldn't exist "on earth, or in space," he wrote on the petition site, "but should they decide on the latter they should stay there." Read the story on Ferndale Patch

Representation Matters

Las Vegas Raiders defensive end Carl Nassib came out on an Instagram video posted Monday. He's the first active NFL player to announce he's gay. "I'm a pretty private person, so I hope you guys know that I'm not doing this for attention,” the former Tampa Bay Bucs player said. “I just think that representation and visibility are so important. I actually hope that one day videos like this and the whole coming out process are not necessary, but until then, I will do my best and my part to cultivate a culture that's accepting and compassionate.” Read the story on Tampa Patch

Fun Reads

Speaking Of Florida: A new video making the rounds on social media shows a Walt Disney World guest in Orlando jumping off Epcot's Living with the Land ride to steal a cucumber on a vine, via Orlando Patch

Musical Tribute: A New Jersey street will soon bear the name of The Isley Brothers, the musical group announced recently. Both Ernie and Ron Isley will be in attendance Thursday for the ceremony in Teaneck, via Teaneck Patch

Special Delivery: The Miami International Airport welcomed a different kind of arrival Sunday — a baby girl was born at the airport just in time for Father's Day. The newborn was appropriately named Mia, which just happens to be the airport's letter code, via Miami Patch

Chunk Goes To The Beach: When Chunk the golden retriever went missing two weeks ago, his owners said he loves to swim. On Tuesday, that's exactly what he was doing when New Jersey State Police found him and reunited him with his family, via Brick Patch

House Porn: The Beastie Boys' Adam Horovitz and his wife, legendary punk singer Kathleen Hanna, have listed their New Jersey home for just under $1 million.

More Reads

Shaky Situation: Six Flags America temporarily shut down one of its newest rides after a video showed the structure shaking. The ride normally reaches speeds of 70 mph and heights of 150 feet, via Bowie Patch

(Not-So) Cordially Invited: A Maryland county executive targeted a New York-based hedge fund in an open letter this week, criticizing the company for laying off newspaper staff and inviting them to a memorial honoring the five people killed in the Capital Gazette shooting, via Annapolis Patch

Pledge Reversed: After voting to continue reciting the Pledge of Allegiance during online meetings, the mayor of a Colorado town has decided to nix it now that the city council has returned to in-person meetings. Needless to say, some members aren’t pleased, via Denver Patch

‘Illegal’ Removal: The Georgia division of the Sons of Confederate Veterans is suing the city of Decatur and DeKalb County commissioners over the removal of the Confederate obelisk, via Decatur Patch

Trending Across Patch

• Rabid Dog From Azerbaijan Exposed Canines In Lake County, via Lake Forest Patch
• Alligator Killed Near Chesapeake Bay On Father's Day, via Annapolis Patch
• Alex Kasser Announces Resignation From CT State Senate, via Greenwich Patch
• Gov. Lamont Signs Marijuana Legalization Bill Into Law In CT, via Danbury Patch
• 5 Correction Officers Injured In Inmate Attack, via Mid Hudson Valley Patch
• Woodbridge Burglar Escapes Through Dog Door, via Woodbridge Patch
• Trump Sues NYC Over Losing Bronx Golf Course After Jan. 6 Riot, via New York City Patch

Patch is in more than 1,000 communities in America. Find yours here and subscribe