Community Corner
When Is It OK To Drop By Unannounced? Etiquette Experts Weigh In
Before COVID-19, there were instances when it was fine to quickly pop by without calling first. Now, though, there's a different protocol.
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Before COVID-19, there were plenty of instances where — in the right context — it was fine to quickly drop by someone’s house unannounced. Now that we're in the midst of a pandemic, though, there are certain safety protocols that need to be observed when approaching someone else's home. (For the most up-to-date information and recommended guidelines, check out cdc.gov/coronavirus.)
So is it OK to just swing by a neighbor’s house and ask to borrow a cup of sugar, or do you need to call first? What’s the polite thing to do if a friend comes by your home when you're not receiving guests? We spoke to three etiquette experts about the do’s and don’ts of dropping by.
Even if you don’t think it's necessary, a heads-up is always appreciated.
Lizzie Post, the great-great-granddaughter of manners maven Emily Post, co-president of The Emily Post Institute and co-host of the Awesome Etiquette podcast, tells Patch that she's "very comfortable" with some of her neighbors — and, in non-COVID-19 times, it would be fine for them to come by "for either a quick hello or to tell me something or to ask to borrow something" without giving notice beforehand.
"But often, if you have someone’s number, you tend to text first just to give that heads-up, and it's worth doing," Post says. "You never know what people are up to."
Be respectful of the other person's space — particularly during COVID-19.
"Etiquette is the art of knowing how to treat others," Jacqueline Whitmore, an international etiquette expert, author and founder of The Protocol School of Palm Beach, tells Patch, "but also, during times of COVID, it's about staying safe and staying healthy."
For this reason, Whitmore suggests "texting or calling prior to your arrival" and just as importantly, "[making] sure that you wear your mask and stand 6 feet away" after ringing the doorbell or knocking.
Additionally, Post tells Patch that you may find people aren't comfortable opening the door "depending on their conditions at home or their own personal health." In this case, you can relay your greeting through the door or their video doorbell, if they have one.
Avoid dropping by during inconvenient times, which will vary from person to person.
Even if you're stopping by for something quick and transactional such as dropping off a tool or borrowing a missing recipe ingredient, Post recommends not showing up too early in the morning (if the sun isn't out yet, you shouldn't be swinging by) or too late at night. "[Up until] 7 or 8 p.m. would generally be fine," she tells Patch, "but I really wouldn't be ringing doorbells after that expecting for someone to chat."
Bear in mind, too, that "normal" visiting hours often vary based on the individual's circumstance. As Whitmore tells Patch, "Etiquette is situational ... I may have a neighbor who works at night and sleeps during the day, so I’m not going to go to her house if I know she works all hours of the night and then needs her sleep during the day, because that’s just not the courteous thing to do."
Coordinate dropping off holiday gifts with recipients ahead of time.
Before COVID-19, it would've been fine in most cases to make your rounds about town and drop off holiday gifts without calling ahead. But as Elaine Swann, an etiquette expert, author and founder of The Swann School of Protocol, tells Patch, "Now that we are in the throes of this pandemic, it's important for us to be sensitive to the fact that many individuals might be uneasy about opening their door to an unexpected visitor."
When it comes to delivering a present, Swann recommends "[contacting] the person in advance to let them know that you have a gift and that you’ll be dropping it off." This allows you to "coordinate with them in terms of the timing," she notes.
"If you are making your stops around town and to those who you love ... what you can do is drop the gift off, step back a few feet — or get back into your car if you need to — and then contact that person via phone or text letting them know that you’ve left something outside for them, while still keeping one eye on it," Swann says. "I think the great thing about Ring [Video Doorbells] is that the person would be able to see you, and you can wave, or they can see the gift that you have left."
Related: These Ring Video Doorbells Make Perfect Holiday Gifts
When it comes to receiving visitors, don't be afraid to set boundaries.
If someone shows up unexpectedly and you don't feel comfortable letting them in, that is perfectly fine. "This is an instance where you would most certainly be honest with the person and tell them, 'You know, I want to make sure I'm protecting you, so I'm not going to open the door,'" Swann tells Patch.
"But be considerate," she adds. "Don't just hide in your house and not say anything and pretend like you're not home, but be considerate of the fact that they have come to the door or what have you, and you can speak to them through a window or through a peephole, and that is absolutely acceptable to speak to the person through the door, to communicate in another means."
The Bottom Line: As Whitmore emphasizes, "Etiquette is all about gauging your behavior for the comfort of others" — and that's going to vary from one situation to to the next. Here at Patch, we've found that Ring Video Doorbells allow folks to answer the door and interact with visitors — even if they're not at home or want to practice social distancing.
Here are some of our favorites.
Ring Video Doorbell 3 Plus — See, hear and speak to anyone at your door with one of the latest video doorbells from Ring. Ring Video Doorbell 3 Plus has improved motion detection and enhanced dual-band wifi. Setup is simple, and you can customize the motion settings to focus on key areas and only receive the alerts you care about most. Ring Video Doorbell 3 Plus is also the first battery-powered video doorbell with Pre-Roll, which means you get 4 extra seconds of black and white video to show you what happened before motion was detected.
Ring Video Doorbell Pro — Ring Video Doorbell Pro connects to your existing doorbell wiring, so you'll never need to charge a battery. With the Ring App, you can see and speak to visitors from anywhere on your phone. The doorbell camera captures wide-angle HD video and has infrared night vision, so you can see exactly what's happening around the clock.
Ring Video Doorbell Elite — This professional-grade, flush-mount smart doorbell lets you monitor your home, answer the door and greet guests straight from your phone. With instant alerts, HD video and Two-Way Talk, you can see, hear and speak to visitors from anywhere. Power over Ethernet (PoE) gives you the most reliable connection in smart home security, allowing you to stay online, maintain power, and get the highest quality HD video and audio right at your fingertips.
Ring Peephole Cam — Replace your door's peephole with a smart, compact video doorbell that lets you see, hear and speak to visitors from anywhere. Ring Peephole Cam has Knock Detection and sends mobile notifications right to your phone or tablet. Installation is quick and easy, and it requires no screws or drilling which is great for renters.
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