OBITUARY: Old Man Winter, 2013-2014 (May He Rest in Fleece)

Old Man Winter, who arrived in Virginia way too early in 2013 and stayed way too long into 2014, died Thursday, sort of, hopefully, thankfully, please, please, please. And thank God.

The death was hinted at in the form of a weather forecast, which for the first time in memory calls for no significant snow accumulation and no bitterly cold temperatures in Virginia over the next two days, or three days, or five days or even 15 days out. (We'll consider Tuesday's chance of snow showers a brief evil side of spring.)

Mr. Winter’s death was confirmed by the calendar, which shows Thursday, March 20, circled in red and marked, "First Day of Spring!"

The forecast for Northern Virginia, in fact, calls for weather akin to dancing on Mr. Winter's hard and cold grave, with highs reaching well into the 60s this weekend, and even into the 70s in Fredericksburg, with lows that we could care less about because we'll be in bed anyways.

Mr. Winter was born prematurely in the heavens — but let’s blame Chicago — in November 2013, about a month before he was due, moving to Virginia with the first trace of snow at Reagan National Airport recorded on Nov. 23.

From there, he became a force across the region, the relentless, tough S.O.B. (Son Of a 'Burg), having brought snow, cold, snow, ice and more snow to Virginia during what seemed like a life that would never end.

Among the Old Man's "accomplishments," he:

• dumped 30.3 inches of snow at Reagan National over the season, nearly double the 15.2 average;

• hit pockets of the region much harder than that, with nearly a foot at a time reported in such places as Reston, Fredericksburg and Manassas;

He is survived by little clumps of blackening crystals shrinking on curbsides and areas of shade, and by several million Virginians and Washingtonians glad to be done with him and his s--- (snow).

Oh, and he’s survived by an unborn son, due to arrive Dec. 21, 2014. Later, if we’re lucky.