American Horror Story Blog: Is Rubber Man the Baby Daddy?

Well, what did you think? In short, I like it!

Here are my first impressions:

Time may not be kept in ordinary ways on this show; Violet has deep-seated issues; Ben is not going to approve of his wife, Vivien, carrying the offspring of a supernatural entity; Moira better up her game if she doesn't want to get killed again; Constance seems to hold some sort of key; Tate may very well be possessed and not crazy; kids younger than 10 in a horror piece are creepy and foretell doom; and we have proof, once again, that clowns (if that's what it is) are scary.

Let's review ...

The first episode of American Horror Story opens in 1978. We see a seemingly sweet little girl with Down's Syndrome in a yellow dress standing in the front yard of an abandoned old house. Were it not for the title of this show, we might think she was just lost and truly sweet, but no.

She's creepy and delivers a dire warning to the twin hooligans with the Hardy Boys haircuts who plan to go inside the house to do damage with their bats. "You're going to regret it! You'll die in there!" she tells them.

They utter some cuss words and tell her they have bats. Everyone at home watching this just shakes their heads.

After smashing up the first floor, one boy discovers some type of big, hairy animal (raccoon? I couldn't tell.) with it's throat slit in the hallway. Of course they go down to the basement where they find all sorts of icky things (baby head, a human ear, other animals) in jars of formaldehyde. They decide it smells down there and they're going to leave. Throughout their tour of the house, Troy is throwing down those snapping things, but half-way up the stairs, the other boy notices the snaps have stopped.

"Troy?" he calls out in a tremulous voice. No answer. He gingerly makes his way back down the stairs ... around the corner ... and there is Troy, on his knees, blood pouring from his throat, reaching for help.

Cue something bald and ghostlike rushing the boy and ... fade to black and fast forward to 2011.

We meet the Harmons of Boston: Vivien (Connie Britton); Ben (Dylan McDermott) and their daughter, Violet (Taissa Farmiga) who are trying to stay a family after suffering some heavy stress. Vivien had a miscarriage with a 7-month-old fetus; Vivien caught Ben having sex with one of his students in their bed; and Violet, unbeknownst to her parents, is cutting herself. So what do they do? Move to LA into the mansion where the twins bought it at the beginning of the show.

And who do we see again? That little girl in the yellow dress! Only instead of being a little girl (still), she's grown up and scaring the crap out of Vivien. She stands behind Vivien as Vivien gets to work removing the wallpaper from the living room walls to reveal the mural beneath.

"You're going to die in here."

No surprise that Vivien nearly jumps out of her skin and then looks even more confused when Jessica Lange comes around the corner! She's Constance, a Virginia beauty who moved to Hollywood to be a movie star and is not shy about voicing her regrets about having given birth to a child - we learn her name is Addie - with Down's Syndrome.

Constance is odd and scary, herself, talking about Addie's obsession with the house and the doggy day care she runs. She departs as quickly as she arrived, leaving a gift for Vivien for the "bad ju-ju" in place of the pie Addie wanted to make, but, "Addie spits in the food."

Ben, it turns out, is a psychiatrist who works out of an office in the house. He is currently treating a teenage boy named Tate (Evan Peters) who has vivid fanstasies about killing people at school while he he enjoys hearing them beg for their lives. The camera cuts to Ben and we see a figure standing behind him dripping blood.

Tate meets Violet while she's cutting herself and they embark on a tenuous friendship. That scares the hell out of Ben when he discovers them talking in Violet's room and orders Violet to stay away from Tate.

Moira is another character we meet. She was the previous housekeeper, but Vivien tells her they don't need one. I should probably mention here that Vivien likes things more natural; she hangs her laundry to dry because she doesn't like the chemicals in fabric softener and appreciates Moira's advice to use white vinegar instead of oil soap on the wood floors. Moira also tells Vivien that the house has feelings.

"Mistreat it and you'll regret it," she says. Yikes.

Vivien invites her inside for tea as Moira waits for a cab, and Moira tells her she's been the housekeeper for the house for years even as owners come and go. Moira reveals that she found the bodies of the gay couple, but cleaned it up so well, no one would ever know.

Ben comes into the kitchen and after being introduced to Moira, he turns to look at her. Instead of seeing a woman of about 50, he sees a young, beautiful woman of about 20. To say he is freaked out is an understatement. Vivien wants to hire her, but Ben is a little reluctant. Still, Moira gets the job.

Cut to Ben leaving the shower and calling for Vivien about razors. He turns and sees a door open so he goes to check it out. Instead of finding Vivien, he finds his version of Moira sitting a chair with her skirt hiked up, legs spread, touching herself. Sure, he's tempted, but he leaves, goes into the bathroom, touches himself and cries.

He hears a noise and when he looks out the window into the yard, there is a creepy man with half a face standing amongst his wife's clean sheets. Ben races outside, but there's no sign of the creepy man.

Addie again scares the crap out of Vivien while Vivien brings in some groceries. She spins and sees the refridgerator doors open. A girl laughs so Vivien follows the sound to find Addie laughing and pointing her finger: the dead twin boys are standing behind Vivien.

With Constance sitting beside Addie in the kitchen, Vivien makes it very clear, by giving Addie's cheeks a squeeze, that Addie must stop coming into the house. She seems to get the message and after she makes her way to the door, tries to pet the dog who promptly bites her.

"She shouldn't have done that," Addie warns.

Constance says good-bye with a warning to Vivien that if Vivien touches Addie again, Constance will break Vivien's arm.

Hot, young Moira with the thigh-high stockings and garters makes another appearance in Ben's office while he's trying to report Tate's potential violence. She teases Ben, stands over him and says she wants to watch him touch himself. Voilet walks in and sees the older Moira standing over her Dad. Not surprising that she bolts and Ben chases her to explain ... what? That the older woman she sees trying to do her dad looks young and hot to him and he was really, no, I swear, trying to resist her?

Vivien has managed to remove wallpaper from one of the murals and uncovers a strange painting of some old guy and a demon (or something) on his shoulder. Ben tries to get fresh with Vivien, but she resists and Ben gets mad. This leads to a screaming fight about the loss of their baby, why he cheated and oh, my, are those cuss words and dirty language coming out of the mouth Mrs. Taylor from Friday Night Lights? Anyway, they end up angry and sweaty on the couch before we go to another commercial.

Tate is back in Violet's room and she's talking to him about killing Mean Girl at school and Tate is all for it. Apparently Violet has already issued an invitation to sell the girl cocaine as a lure to her house, but she doesn't have drugs. Tate thinks this is a minor issue and they hatch a plan to scare Mean Girl into leaving Violet alone.

Vivien is getting ready for bed when Rubber Man walks in. Yes, that is what he's called per an interview on TVGuide.com with Britton. Vivien thinks it's Ben just dressed up in a suit she thought he threw away, but she's up for a little kinky fun after their afternoon delight only ...

Ben is in the kitchen holding his hand above the lit burners of the stove when Constance walks in and tells him it's not his time. Enjoy the house. Go back to bed.

Huh?

Violet lets Mean Girl down to the basement to ... Tate. They flash a bunch of lights and now there are beasts with hair and fangs, even a clown that uses big claws to mar Mean Girl's face and even some type of demon or something, too. Not surprisingly, Mean Girl howls and runs out, Violet is freaked, but Tate is okay (and possibly possessed) with it all and clearly feels rejected when Violet tells him to stay away from her.

Ben is jogging when the man with half a face follows him. Ben finally confronts him and gets told the man's name is Larry Harvey and 70 percent of his body is deformed, that Ben needs to get his family out of the house. Oh, yeah, Larry is fresh out of prison for triple homicide and a former resident of the Ben's home.

Larry tells Ben he lived in the house for 6 months before he started hearing the voices, and eventually, he killed his two daughters and his wife but setting their beds on fire, which, of course, lit Larry up, too. Larry tells Ben he's only out of prison because he has brain cancer, but he can't remember how he put out the flames. He asks Ben if Ben is sleep walking and begs Ben to look at the transcript of Larry's case.

Understandably, Ben freaks out and yells for Larry to leave them alone. Ben runs away as Larry smiles a creepy little grin.

Constance is in the master bedroom trying on Vivien's diamond earrings when Moira catches her. Constance threatens to kill Moira, again, if she doesn't move.

That's not a typo. Kill her. Again.

It must be a few days later because now Vivien and Ben are in the kitchen talking about having Indian food, which Vivien only has when she's pregnant. Oh, the joy for both of them!

While the rest of us sit with our mouths hanging open. Is Ben or Rubber Man the Baby Daddy?

Well, that's my extremely long re-cap of the premiere. I don't expect they'll be this long from now on since we've got most of the characters established and some type of plot in place. I am intrigued and hope the episodes get even more creepy and a lot more scary.

Of course, I watched it in the middle of the day with bright sunlight and I think I'll keep it that way thankyouverymuch.

Chime in with your thoughts!