Family Appreciation Day

When I meet a new patient, I always ask permission to see them in the context of family. And…I ALWAYS add, “In spite of the Von Bulow tag, 90% of my relatives are Sicilian (Blandinos); they’re bent on revenge and never forget. So if I see you as family, I can totally promise you I will like you, respect you, and be extremely careful at all times.”

And I know my spiel sounds good…but I mean it. For me, there’s nothing that trumps family. And since my own immediate family now consists of me and an amazing network of cousins, I’m super-receptive to adoption. If you didn’t know cousin adoption was possible, we’ve been doing it around here ever since I first saw a patient’s name on the schedule…and instantly smiled.

In one week, my family of co-workers and I received some bad news…twice. And in spite of some unfortunate training, I’ve yet to figure out a great way to accept deaths in the family.

Adopted-Cousin Steve first graced us with his undeniable presence some 30-years ago. Steve was a great husband and dad; he was also a Vietnam vet, a friend, and most importantly, a USC Trojan Football diehard.

I actually had to talk Steve into accepting local anesthesia; and whenever he grudgingly complied, he’d actually make fun of me. When I’d ask Cousin Steve how he was doing during a procedure, he’d just look over at me and give me a slow Cardinal and Gold eye roll.

Steve could track down newbie team members just like a Shawshank bloodhound; he’d put rookie dental assistants and hygienists through the ringer and then emerge through it all as their favorite patient.

On one of Steve’s later visits, he was in the chair when my accountant of some 35 years called to let me know I owed the IRS some money…about $60K…tomorrow. CPA Steve offered some professional advice: “Don’t know about you, but where I come from we’d just take him out back, give him a fair trial, and shoot him.” After a mild protest, Steve agreed to just refer me to a new CPA. Steve was actually cutting back on his clientele on his way to retirement.

Steve’s name on the schedule never failed to generate an immediate smile…and so will his memory.

USC Trojan grad adopted-Cousin Herman and wife Beatriz will always be two of my all-time favorite people. Not only did we agree on EVERYTHING, Herman and I were both part of the elite 1% of the Trojan family wise enough to call ourselves liberal Democrats (and that’s okay; so is former USC Head Football Coach Pete Carroll.)

When sometimes the frustrations that go along with owning a small service business get me to feeling sorry for myself, all I need to do is bring up the image of Herman and Beatriz. Then it’s easy to understand why the opportunity to serve people who make dignity and class contagious is a blessing. And blessings don’t come along with price tags, taxes, or insurance; they’re priceless.

One of the last times I saw Herman, he and Beatriz attended a Thanksgiving Patient Appreciation/food drive event we held in the parking lot behind our office. Herman was struggling to get around and instead of walking all the way back to south Temple City, Beatriz and I helped him back to the car. I love the photo of the three of us together. And Herman may have lost a step or two, but he was the classiest of acts from start to finish.

I know only too well deaths in the family leave us with an emptiness that will remain unfilled. But oh the joy of precious opportunities and friendships unmissed.

Steve and Herman, we’ll miss you both forever. But in the spirit of my Sicilian heritage, we’ll never forget.