Make America Human Again

So, I had these same symptoms back in January of 2006. I remember the onset clearly because it all started as I was walking up Seco Street on my way back from the Arroyo. As we trudged past the street vendors who were selling Rose Bowl souvenirs, I noticed USC Trojan Football T-shirts were going cheap.

For the lack of success on Fourth and two with 6-minutes to go, an historic win streak, a national championship, and a unique flash of genius were lost. And I’d never had a headache before or awakened at 3AM noticing my teeth were clamped shut pit bull style. When I closed my eyes, breathed in through my nose and slowly out through my mouth, I couldn’t let go the vision of an All-American tailback following a 360-lb tackle and NOT picking up a measly two yards…with freakin’ Reggie Bush standing on the sidelines.

But I’m way better now, mostly because time partially heals most wounds. And sure, there are flashbacks; I had one shortly after an ESPN Thirty for Thirty production of “The Trojan Wars” (woke up at 3AM in a cold sweat mumbling “get Reggie on the field.”)

But the headaches are back. And I remember the onset because I was sitting at my favorite neighborhood Northern Italian joint about 5-minutes away from the Rose Bowl hoping maybe one more martini would convince me it was just a bad dream. But on November 9, the day began with my second unique lifetime headache and my teeth clamped shut pit bull style. And sadly, I haven’t regained my once stellar sleep cycle efficiency ever since.

Back in The Day, I used to opine the “Elephant in the Middle of the Room” political party would support Donald Duck rather than acknowledge possibility in an opposing presidential candidate. And the candidate I have in mind only suggested using “conventional” nuclear weapons in Vietnam. But compared to the November 8 popular vote loser, Barry Goldwater and even Donald Duck (by comparison) could stand in for Winston Churchill any day of the week.

Now, when I close my eyes and breathe in and out Mr. Miyagi style, I see a Supreme Court suited-up in white hooded robes and I see the Commander in-chief holding hands with murderous dictators while he basically wipes his ass with our word and the Constitution.

My closest aunt never had children because our male-dominated government didn’t think women deserved to make decisions regarding their own body. So now I envision the return of life threatening back alley surgeries and ground level glass ceilings.

When I open my eyes, I see neo-Nazis and KKK members identified as “very fine people.” I see Black athletes called out by the back-up leader of the Free World as “sons of bitches” simply for taking a knee, expressing a serious concern, and honoring their sacred First Amendment rights.

These days, when I awaken, it’s not Bobby Ewing and Dallas; it’s not just a bad dream. It’s a far worse reality.

And I’m not dreaming when freedom of the press is threatened by 3AM tweets or when it’s okay that Russia helped install the 45th U.S. president or when undergraduate students are held to higher standards of responsibility, preparedness, honesty, and morality than the President of the United States.

12-years ago, I couldn’t believe my alma mater came up short on fourth and two. But that’s when presidents, football coaches, and even voters seemed far more responsible; they collaborated and looked for teaching opportunities and solutions, not scapegoats.

If the country comes up short this November, we’ll undoubtedly still have crappy healthcare, unaffordable and mediocre education, a failing infrastructure, lying as the new truth, and maybe even a fascist state. But at least we’ll be the most powerful racist banana republic in the world! Or will we?

Here’s hoping we wake up and still have a republic. And here’s hoping adults will freakin’ wise up and read, act, and show respect for the noble sacrifices made to grant them a vote. And finally, here’s hoping #46 will have the chance to make America great again.