Happy Mother's Day From Karyn McQueen

In celebration of Mother's Day on Sunday May 13, we asked Patch readers to write a letter to their mother and let us deliver it. This is Karyn McQueen's letter to her mom:

Dear Momma,

We are yet again facing another first without our Sassy Lexy girl — Mother's Day. It's hard to even know what to say for Mother's Day to someone who has been robbed of their child in the middle of the night by a selfish, thoughtless drunk driver, much less to my own mother. But here we are, and here we will remain, supporting each other and holding each other up as we make our way through a world that has become a lot less bright and a lot quieter without Lexy's loud, contagious laugh and her beautiful spirit.

I'm so sorry that this is our new normal. It's so freaking unfair, but I'm so very proud of you for continuing to face each day, no matter how hard the days are. I'm so proud of you for being brave enough to celebrate Mother's Day this year. I know it won't be easy, but I'm glad we're doing it, not just because we're trying to do normal things as we trudge our way for this new life that we didn't ask for, but because you deserve to be celebrated by your Gers!

As the eldest of your three daughters, I watched you and knew from the moment that Kristyn was born that I wanted to be a mom when I grew up, that I wanted to be just like you when I grew up. Seven years after I inherited the title of "big sister" (the best title I've ever had!) for the first time, you blessed Kristyn and me with a new baby sister. I was just as smitten with her, if not more so, as I was old enough to be able to emulate you more and be her second mom. I've always wanted to be a mom to girls because our Ger bond has always been so strong, and I have never taken for granted that my best friends were built into my immediate family.

You've taught me so much in my 35 years: how to be resourceful and to always have a side hustle; the value of a dollar and that I should never waste money on buying something at full price, overdraft fees and finance charges; to always believe in myself and my dreams, no matter how much work they are or how old I am; to be assertive and aggressive when need be and to stand up for myself. Now in our darkest of days, you've been teaching me still, to take care of myself, to wake up and face the day no matter how hard it may be and, above all else, to continue living for her and for us.

This Mother's Day, while I wish I could give you what your heart desires the most, I can't. And so more than anything, my wish for you is that you wake up on Sunday morning from an amazing dream about Lexy, and that you feel like you've spent time with her on this first Mother's Day without her, that we have a sign where we are all together, and it's abundantly clear that her spirit is with us.

Love you, mean it!
Karyn

—Karyn McQueen

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Related: Read Karyn's sister Kristyn's touching letter to their mother, Kinga Garcia.

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See all Mother's Day letters here.

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For next month's Love In A Small Town feature, we want to help you give Dad the best Father's Day gift ever. Write him a heartfelt letter to tell him how much he means to you, email it to locallove@patch.com and we'll feature it in your town's newsfeed on Father's Day. Get more details here.