One person’s unwanted spouse is another’s Valentine!

While pursuing the “Free Stuff” category on Craigslist the other day I came upon this post:

Middle Aged Husband - Take him away (Daly City)

Free for the taking. Mid aged husband who doesn't do much for me anymore. Maybe you can train him to do yardwork, or cooking, or laundry, or something useful. He's good at eating and keeping you warm at night I guess.

Daytime pickup only.

I suddenly realized I am in the market for a new Valentine – and I took this post as a sign from St. Valentine himself. Hey, this fellow could be the one! He sounds like a sweet guy, obviously abused by his unappreciative spouse. If he doesn’t do anything for her anymore, I reasoned that he used to do things – so that means he’s trainable, right? He likes to eat good food and he’ll “keep you warm at night”…hmmm… I bet he’s quite the teddy bear.

By now my imagination was running wild. After all, as a senior citizen I could really benefit from a new middle-aged boyfriend – especially one who arrives “free.”

As I tried mentally picturing him, I imagined he’s probably not too tall, maybe a little overweight because she said he doesn’t do anything. He wouldn’t have to cook – we could just use Grubhub or get Meals on Wheels. I would get us senior discounts everywhere. I don’t have a yard, but maybe he’s good at bridge or Mahjong. Oh, my friends will be so jealous of my new conquest!

At this point, I was very jazzed up and soon had this “acquisition” all planned out.

YES, I was definitely ready to “take him away.” Let me at him…. My Valentine.

Screwing up my courage, I dialed. Wrong number. I guess I’m nervous.

I dialed again….”The number you have reached is not…..” and then again “Check your number and….” and again….. Damn, some other old lady must’ve beat me to him.

Well, that’s alright. St. Valentine must’ve been looking out for my best interest. Maybe it’s true about “someone else’s junk” after all.

Now that I’m rallying myself into bounce-back mode, I’ve decided to post new pictures on the Valentine’s Galore dating site tomorrow. Wait ‘n see…I’ll be ready for February 14, yes indeedy, bring ‘em on.

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Pamela Rand has loved living in Novato for over thirty years where she raised her three vibrant daughters. Pamela's production company is Past Primetime Productions, she produces “Adventures in Feeling Young,” the name of the free YouTube channel featuring these “ladies-of-a-certain age” taking on the world. She and her fellow youthful septuagenarian, Ellen Brooks, seasoned actresses and comediennes, rollick their way through light-hearted, under-5-minute sketches in battering away at the creaky myths of aging – to the laugh-out-loud joy of audiences both young and old. Learn more: www.AdventuresInFeelingYoung.com.

Wishing you all lots of laughs!