Best of Craigslist: ‘Best Horse Ever,’ Framed Tarantulas

The following items and postings were found on Craigslist for the DuPage County area. Note: Patch has no control over the status of these posts on Craigslist and how long they remain available.

‘Best Horse Ever’

Look at my horse; my horse is amazing. This huge free-standing statue was apparently once “part of horse festival,” and comes with, for some reason, a V8 motor, headers, a four-barrel carburetor, a license plate reading “HORS PWR” and a sweet trilby. Perhaps most importantly, the Glen Ellyn seller notes, “doesn’t eat any food or [expletive] on your lawn." And all for just $4,900!

Framed Tarantulas

We’re doing a Halloween theme this week, and these framed eight-legged creepy-crawlies are guaranteed to keep any room in which you might hang them free of arachnophobes (though not bugs, sorry, they’re dead.) One is a male and the other a female, so it’s kind of romantic, I guess? Thankfully, they “come from a clean, smoke-free home,” so you know they were raised right. They’re $75 out of Elmhurst.

Halloween Guillotine

… Hey, that rhymes! (And that’s your last thought—thunk.) Now, nowhere in this post does it say whether or not this model is usable—I’m guessing probably not, but the kids don’t need to know that when you make implying comments about their unfinished homework, right? Add this prop to your décor from an Elmhurst seller for $25. 

Freaky Prop Zombies

Some people treat Halloween as a time to welcome kids with a smile, and some treat it as an opportunity to scare the living bejeezus out of them consequence-free. For those in the latter category, these horrifying zombies from a west-Chicago-area seller should do the trick nicely. Put these out on your doorstep for $250 each, and at the end of the day, you get to eat all the candy yourself! 

Homemade Electric Chairs 

Well, the description says they’re “mock electric chairs,” but they sort of just look like, y’know, chairs. So on the off-chance that you’re not scheduling a double-feature mock execution anytime soon, you could still keep these around to just… sit in? For $10 for the pair (out of Woodridge,) it’s not a bad deal. But the mock-execution thing is cool, too! It’s Halloween, after all.

Top-Popping Coffin Prop

Finally, we have this Naperville seller’s coffin (well, hopefully not his/her actual coffin,) the left half of which is air-controlled by remote to pop open and reveal a grinning head inside. It comes with a fogger, lights and sound. This spooky decoration will set you back $900… and your soul! (Insert evil laugh here.)