This Is Just For Some End To End Registration Testing

America could be stumbling drunk pretty fast tonight just based on Rule #1 of the Official 2022 Midterm Election Drinking Game: drink at every mention of democracy itself. We’ve been told for months that’s what’s at stake, and it’s a safe bet you’ll be told it again tonight at least enough times to drain a bottle or two.

But what fun would a drinking game with one rule be? Especially at the end (we hope!) of a political season as infuriating as this one, we deserve to kick it a little. The quantity of terror-mongering this year has been unprecedented. Issues all but vanished. In their place the public was subjected to an endless parade of horror tales about democracy’s end, “attacks” on ballot integrity, intimidation, disenfranchisement, foreign influence, “election denial,” and three bears of the new Homeland Security Goldilocks tale: misinformation, disinformation, and malinformation.

All of which makes the prospect of watching returns tonight grimmer than usual, but we’re here to help, with drinking game rules for tonight’s broadcasts. I’m going to be watching MSNBC, purely for comedy value, but you can substitute any broadcast from Fox to CNN fairly easily. I’m on kid duty tonight and unfortunately won’t be on hand for the whole night. However, I plan on trying Substack’s new chat feature, opening a beer and a chat with subscribers at 8 p.m. You’ll need the Substack App to take part. I’ll also be joining Katie Halper on her show at around 10 p.m (click here to join).