Christmas Is About Family, Love, and Kindness

Captions: 1. Jim Conzemius, my husband and Jesse and Sarah’s father. 2. Me, Maria Houser Conzemius, and Jesse and Sarah’s mother. 3. Me, Sarah Rose Conzemius, our daughter, and Matt Quinn, Sarah’s boyfriend. 4. Jesse Lee Conzemius, our son, and Rachel Hileman, Jesse’s girlfriend.

Having been raised by wolves, which I think is probably an insult to wolves, it took me many years to enjoy Christmas and my pre-Christmas birthday, sometimes forgotten altogether in my youth, often frugally blended with Christmas.

Now that I have my own family, my birthday and Christmas are fun. The fact that Jim and I have two grown children who have brought their significant others to the family celebration just makes it twice the fun. Matt is our daughter’s significant other and loves games. He taught us how to play Black Fleet, which has a sea-faring theme of navy ships, cargo vessels, and pirates. He felt bad about winning, since he was teaching us the game at the same time, but since we’ve never played a game with him or him and Sarah when he or they didn’t win, we were used to it. He had pointed out many opportunities for us to play better than we did, so we felt he’d played with integrity and honor.

Trivial Pursuits? I knew a lot of the political questions. Jim knew a lot of the historical questions, but Sarah knew a lot of those plus the scientific questions and Matt knew the band Insane Clown Posse. I’m sorry, but never in my life would I have known who Insane Clown Posse is without Matt and Sarah beating us handily at Trivial Pursuits. I can’t say I didn’t learn anything.

Sarah brought two wonderful Christmas mixes that I still play because they bring me comfort, joy, and cheer. She and Matt are traveling to Northwood to join one of Matt’s bands performing on Christmas Eve at a casino. I hope the weather breaks because they’re leaving for Northwood on Thursday. Matt’s the lead singer, a tenor, for New Trick.

Jesse, our son, who was lead tenor and an occasional soloist at City High, loved all of his Christmas presents, especially the book I got him on using color in photography. He’s a passionate photographer and learns all he can about the subject. He has tried two or three times to take advanced photography at Kirkwood Community College, but there are never enough students to fill up the class, so it always gets cancelled.

He’s fun to give to because he’s always thrilled with what you give him. He had good news about fulsome compliments he’s received at both his jobs and an award he received at one. That made me happy.

Sarah chose to work Christmas afternoon and evening, which irritated me slightly until I found out she was earning $650 for the day. (She can’t wait to pay off her student loans and buy a house.) She and Matt did stay with us for two-and-a-half days though, which was delightful!

Our kids got me earrings, the Celtic knot (Jesse) and the double helix (Sarah), as well as a book on reincarnation (Sarah) to match the other book I got on reincarnation for my birthday (Sarah). Jesse got me Lorde’s “Pure Heroin” CD, which I learned to like when I heard Lorde’s song “Royals” in Rick Spear’s RPM workout class at Core Fitness on First Avenue. (I like “Royals,” not the notion of ingesting pure heroin.)

Rachel [Hileman], who was lead soprano and a soloist at City High, brought us her father’s autographed book, “Hammon Falls,” by Dave Hoing and Roger Hileman. We were very glad to get it, especially since there are family photos inside. I haven’t started it yet because I requested and received a lot of books for my birthday and Christmas.

My 91-year-old dad sent us checks, including one for my birthday, which was very thoughtful. Jesse was surprised to get one this year. He had told Granddad years ago not to give him any more money. I told Dad that Jesse shouldn’t have told him that since he needs money as much as anyone. Dad must have listened.

Christmas isn’t religious for us because we’re not a religious family. Jim is a recovering Catholic who has just begun to confide in me that he bucked the priests because he felt, even as a little boy, that the trappings of priestly authority mediating between the congregation and God were absurd.

His mother must have felt the same way because she gave the Catholic Church $5,000 a year (for a Catholic children’s home, I believe) to stay away from her. In the nursing home in Lone Tree, she kept a likeness of “that damn pope” [Pope Benedict] upside down under her chair. She must have felt that the church didn’t live up to their end of the bargain when they sent it to her.

I’ll bet she would have liked Pope Francis a lot better, or would have, if she didn’t have dementia by the time the puffs of smoke announced his ascendancy.

I hope you had as happy a holiday as we did!