Riding the Stiff Ride w/ Hacky, the Stiffies, and the Melonheads

Captions: 1. On left, Hacky, a.k.a., Dave Wedemeyer, in his camo kilt and Team Stiff jersey. I think his camo kilt makes him look like a Roman legionnaire. On the right, is me, Maria Houser Conzemius. 2. Norm Kastens, a MelonHead, now married to Norma. We went to their very fun and loving wedding in April 2018. He retired shortly after his wedding and is very happy in his new marriage.

My husband Jim and I rode the Stiff Ride Saturday June 23, 2018, like we always do. Most riders are training for RAGBRAI, which is always the last full week of July. It never runs into August. RAGBRAI is overnighting in Iowa City this year, for the first time since 1976, which was the first RAGBRAI Jim ever did. He was supposed to go with someone else, but he or she backed out. When he got back, he went to the emergency room because he couldn't hold a beer can.

"Did you ride on RAGBRAI?" the ER doctor asked him.

"Yes," Jim replied.

"Well, that's why," the doctor told him. "We're seeing a lot of this." I forget what he told him to do about it. Ice it?

We'll be sleeping in our own beds this year when RAGBRAI overnights again for the first time since then! We're lucky to have the opportunity to go. I remember the year I worked for a nonprofit as a social worker and they said I could go on RAGBRAI for three days. I was crushed, but at least I got to go with my family for three days. That was the year a woman was airlifted by helicopter because she'd fallen and her pelvis was broken.

"We probably don't know her," Jim and I said to each other as we watched the helicopter fly away. The accident victim turned out to be one of Jim's coworkers. She was off work for a long time.

Team Stiff, led by Hacky, also known as Dave Wedemeyer, was covered with Team Stiff Ride patches when we met up with him at Odie's Bar & Grill in Ely. This year the patches only cost $3.00 each instead of $5.00! Hacky had achieved economy of scale. I'd ridden the day before and thought I'd be wimpy, but I'd developed some strength from doing steep, endless Scott Boulevard Hills a number of times and the R.A.S.H. Ride two weeks before (also 25 miles), much to my surprise.

Hacky rides all over the country. He's my role model, just as Dr. Beasley, who rides his birthday years every birthday (90 now), is Jim's role model. Hacky rode a lot in Connecticut and Maine most recently. I like that he seeks a change of scenery. Most of the time, all I see is Iowa, much as I imagine Dr. Beasley does, but I don't know that for sure.

Hacky is a really strong rider. I bought a Team Stiff poster from him and had it framed. I think I have every Stiffie patch ever issued. Some day I'm going to have a quilt made with them. I'd like to make the quilt myself, but I'm still mastering the intricacies of knitting lace. One skill set at a time.

Jim gave me a 20-minute head start as he caroused with the MelonHeads during the Stiff Ride at Odie's in Ely. He couldn't believe he couldn't catch up to me on the way back to the old church in Sutliff (now unused and a public place, so we parked there). As he rode up steep hills on mostly bad (cracked and patched) road from Ely to Sutliff, he looked in ditches for my body and asked people if they'd seen me. He caught up to me as I was loading my bicycle on the bike rack in Sutliff.

Not dead, Jim, just faster than you thought. I did appreciate him taking over the task of loading my bike for me.

I started this whole biking hobby of ours, but Jim's taken it over with a vengeance. He boots me out of the door and onto my bike with some regularity. I admire his self-discipline and persistence. I used to be faster than he was, but not any more except in spurts. I need to get back to where I was at 45, when I could soar over those steep hills at 18 miles per hour.