The Menace Of Bullying: What Falmouth Parents Are Saying

FALMOUTH, MA — An informal survey of Patch readers in New England shows great concern among parents about the extent and severity of bullying their children experience in school and online. Almost nine in 10 parents said their child had been bullied at least once, and nearly half said the bullying had occurred frequently.

In Falmouth, eight parents responded to the anonymous survey, with just one respondents saying their children had never been bullied. Three of those parents said their child is "frequently" bullied, while three said their child is "occasionally" bullied. One parent said their child has been bullied once or twice.

Falmouth Public Schools has a zero-tolerance policy on bullying, but some survey respondents had mixed reactions on its effectiveness.

"Yes, it's no tolerance. But the district is too soft on offenders," one Falmouth parent told Patch. "I transferred my youngest to Sturgis due to bullying. This was after my oldest endured it from grade 5 to grade 10. My kids aren't in the Falmouth school system anymore, but when they were it was hell."

Parents left little doubt as to the consequences of unchecked bullying, saying their children dread going to school and their grades have suffered, that they have been forced to change schools, that they have been physically harmed or suffered from low self-esteem, anxiety and depression.

Some Massachusetts parents said they knew of bullied children who had committed suicide. In Falmouth parents told Patch their children experienced anxiety, depression and a lack of self esteem because of bullying.

While most parents said they were aware Falmouth has adopted policies intended to curb or stop bullying, many believe those policies are poorly enforced — if they are enforced at all. Parents used terms like "needs works," "minimal" and "good on paper" to describe them.

Parents also made suggestions to curb bullying and make the policies in place more effective. One parent suggested the schools hire additional staff or use peer mentors, while others said the district needs to do more to hold bullies accountable.

"Take action. Hold the bullies accountable," a parent said. "Don't give them free passes or ignore what they see and hear daily! Start teaching respect and politeness early, pre-K, kindergarten. If it's not taught at home, it’s a rough road."

Patch has reached out to Superintendent Lori Duerr and will update the story when we hear back.

Patch has undertaken extensive coverage of the bullying issue in The Menace of Bullying: A Patch Advocacy Reporting Project.

The regional parent survey, timed to coincide with National Bullying Prevention Month in October, was posted on more than 100 Patch sites in Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Rhode Island. The survey is not scientific, but could be considered a broad indicator of parents’ feelings about the seriousness of bullying in their schools and communities.

Take the Patch bullying survey

As of Tuesday, Oct. 15, more than 420 parents has responded to the Patch survey. The key findings were:

• Nearly 89 percent of parents said their children had been bullied at least once, and nearly half -- 47 percent -- said bullying had been frequent. Only 11 percent said their children had never been bullied.
• Bullying took many forms, from teasing and name-calling to exclusion from groups to physical harm such as punching or kicking. Nearly a third of respondents said their children had experienced some sort of physical harm.
• Bullying took many forms, from teasing and name-calling to exclusion from groups to physical harm such as punching or kicking. Nearly a third of respondents said their children had experienced some sort of physical harm.

These informal findings should be compared to statistics compiled in more scientific surveys, which note that:

• Bullying affects 1 in 3 U.S. schoolchildren (NoBully.org)
• 59 percent of U.S. students experience cyberbullying (Pew Research Center)
• 160,000 kids stay home from school every day to avoid bullies, National Association of School Psychologists

To comment on this story, email bullies@patch.com. And to learn more about bullying prevention, visit Patch partner NoBully.org.

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From the experts

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