Shrewsbury Murder a Perfect Storm

The recent murder in Shrewsbury involving an elderly couple shocked many people, but .

"It was a perfect storm," said Yager, who did not know the family involved, but works with families when they relocate relatives. "Moving parents from across the country can be stressful, but to move parents from another country, who don't speak the language and may have dementia issues is a perfect storm."

Yager said that talking to parents as they get older and have failing health is difficult for adult children. "Waiting until there is a problem is too late," she said. "You should talk to your parents when their healthy and come up with a plan."

. The couple was from China and their son had moved them to an apartment on Shrewsbury Green Drive about a year before.

"There are so many services available to seniors who relocate to the area," Yager said. "It is not uncommon for families to move parents closer to them, but the move can be very stressful on families."

Getting new doctors, getting to know the area, figuring out who will shovel their driveway, if they will continue to drive are just a few complications that may arise.

"Many families don't know what to expect, but we are here to help," said Yager who works with communities locally and around the state to help families with the transition. "And the senior center is a great resource for activities and meeting people."

When a couple doesn't know the language like the Chinese couple, that can be another huge hurdle.

"We don't have services for the Asian population in town, but the senior center in Worcester has resources," she said. "There's not a high need for that in our community, but we help people get in touch with other communities."

Through the Council on Aging in Shrewsbury, families can access social workers, meals, classes and transportation to name a few.

"My heart goes out the family and a situation like this is so rare," she said. "I had an experience with a family a few years ago myself."

When Yager was a social worker, she met an elderly couple that was always so welcoming and loving to each other. They had given her a present one Christmas of a little tree with bells. One day, the woman snapped and killed her husband.

"I keep the tree on my desk because you just never know sometimes," she said. "It's a reminder to me to every day that there may not be signs."

But that hasn't stopped Yager from helping and making resources available to all who cross her desk.

Other town agencies like the police and fire departments along with the ambulance personnel meets regularly with senior center officials to discuss concerns that are submitted or that they come to their attention.

"If you are a neighbor and notice a senior who may need help, you can call the police and they will get it to the Triad," she said. "We follow-up and it can be anonymous. But sometimes seniors don't have family or they don't know if the family is aware of concerns."

Sometimes its as simple as needing help changing a light bulb. "Since I started in this work, 10 percent of seniors lived in nursing homes and now it is down to 3 percent, so a lot of seniors are staying in their own home," she said. "We have people who will come out and change light bulbs if necessary, which if left burnt out can cause safety hazards for getting around at night or in dark areas of the home."

The bottom line, Yager said, is that help is out there if you ask for it. She has three tips for families dealing with aging parents:

1. When it comes to abnormal or troublesome behavior, don't assume it's dementia or Alzheimer's. It could be something else. There is help available to diagnose and treat the problem and it may be a different type of medical concern.
2. Don't only think of the family's needs. Think of the safety of the community at large. If your aging parents are driving and they are not capable, that could be a problem for others on the road, not just them.
3. And tap into local resources. Local agencies have tons of resources and Massachusetts is a great place to grow old.

Because Massachusetts is one of the oldest states in the country, so Yager said they have been caring for the elderly for the longest amount of time.

"Places like Arizona and Florida are popular spots for seniors, but there are a lot of gaps in the system and it can be convoluted service delivery system," she said. "We've been doing it longer, so we've got a stream-lined system that works."

For more information, call the Council on Aging at 508-841-8640.

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