Young Father Battling Cancer: 'Live Each Day in Case It's Your Last'

For Ryan Humphrey and his family, life has taken some twists and turns since he graduated from in 2000.

He attended Western Michigan University. He got his pilot's license and started flying for American Eagle. He married his college sweetheart, Andrea, in 2007 and settled in Grand Ledge to raise a family. And in 2009, Ryan and Andrea found out they were expecting.

At nearly the same time, they also found out Ryan had a rare, malignant tumor – an angiosarcoma – in his lung while Andrea was still in her first trimester. Doctors performed surgery and told the couple there was just a 10 percent chance it would ever come back.

“His recovery was just awful," Andrea, a Potterville native, said. "I wouldn’t wish that surgery on my worst enemy.”

But the biggest concern at the time was that Ryan, whose passion is flying, was grounded by the airline following the diagnosis and surgery.

“The most upsetting thing is when he found out he couldn’t fly," said Andrea. "To see him lose that, it was really hard for me.”

Still, Ryan seemed to be on the road to recovery. The couple gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy and named him Landon. 

“Since then, I went back to school and was ready to take the MCAT for medical school," Ryan said. Last year, the couple – much to their surprise – found out they were once again expecting.

"And then this happened again," Ryan said.

Cancer returns

In March, as Andrea was entering her third trimester with their second child, Ryan's chest pain returned and he began coughing up small amounts of blood.

“When he started getting chest pain again this year, I just thought it was anxiety from stress because he was doing the whole med school thing," Andrea said. "But he went into the doctor, and he thought he should get a CT scan, and here we are.”

Doctors found two new tumors near Ryan's heart – both aggressive and both inoperable for the time being – and immediately started Ryan on chemotherapy.

“It’s a freak accident, they say, and they don’t know why it happened," Ryan said. "It’s rare and it’s aggressive, but it’s under control.”

“He does amazing," Andrea said. "This was a really, really nasty chemo, and he does so good.”

“I’m going through extensive chemo right now," said Ryan, who was recently hospitalized with serious complications from his treatment and continues to recover this week.

A 'blessing in disguise'

In June, in the midst of Ryan's intense chemotherapy, Logan was born. But instead of looking at it as an additional challenge, Ryan and Andrea simply call it "a blessing in disguise.”

“The boys are such good distractions," Andrea said.

Ryan said they rarely indulge in television now, opting instead to go for family walks and do other things together with 2-year-old Landon and little Logan, who was born on June 7. 

“We do well between therapies and all that, and we just take each scan in stride and do the best that we can," Ryan said, adding that they are trying to extend Andrea's leave. Andrea, who works as a civil engineer for the state of Michigan, has also received extra leave donated by her coworkers. 

“It’s funny how it worked out," Ryan said. "We had him during my second round, so she has three or four months off now. At least she’s home now every day, and I really couldn’t do it without her. It’s really a blessing in disguise.”

In sickness and in health

Throughout Ryan's treatment, Andrea has stood faithfully by Ryan's side, caring for him and their two children. Recently, the couple celebrated their five-year anniversary. 

“She’s a crazy rock for all of us," Ryan said. "All I’m doing is going through chemo, and she’s got two kids and a house and work. It’s nice to have a soul mate like that. I definitely got lucky and blessed with her.”

“Our marriage has always been amazing, and this is a bump in the road," Andrea said. "This is just what you do. You have to take care of the house, and you have to take care of the kids and go to work. I just do what I have to do and support him with whatever he has to do.”

The pair may be inseparable now, but Andrea remembers that it wasn't love at first sight when they met in their shared dorm more than a decade ago. In fact, she shrugged off his advances at first.

"I liked him, and I thought he was a nice guy, but it wasn’t there for me," she said. She continued to shoot down his attempts to woo her until one night, during a conversation on instant messenger, Andrea typed to Ryan, "I'm bored tonight, do you want to go to a movie?"

"He grew on me," she said with a chuckle. “We started dating in 2002, and we got engaged in 2005.”

Andrea said she deals with the stress and uncertainty of Ryan's treatments by trying to stay positive. 

“I have my times. I take more of the positive attitude, and he tries to be more realistic about everything. It might not turn out well.”

“It’s definitely made us stronger," Ryan said. "She’s wonderful. She’s definitely getting me through this."

A financial burden

As Ryan continues to go through chemotherapy, hospital bills are continuing to pile up. And to make things more difficult for the young family, Ryan does not receive disability insurance through his old employer.

“I made the mistake of canceling my disability insurance about three months before my initial diagnosis because I thought I was covered under her," he said.

Ryan and Andrea estimate his treatments have cost around $500,000 so far, with Andrea's insurance covering most of the cost. Still, Ryan said they have paid nearly $15,000 out of pocket for his treatments, which aren't over yet. 

“We’re doing OK, but with everything, you never know," he said.

Ryan recently took a trip to Chicago for a consultation regarding proton therapy, and he said that while more common therapies are covered, experimental cancer treatments often are not. Nor is the cost of getting there and back.

To help ease the financial burden on the young family, friends and family have set up a fund through the Bank of America for the Humphreys. To learn how you can help, visit Ryan's blog, nobodyfightsalone.com, or check out "how you can help" below.

Living life to the fullest

Ryan and Andrea both try to stay upbeat about his treatments and prognosis, but Andrea said it isn't always easy.

“He always says how hard this is on me and he’s worried how it is, but I don’t know how he copes," she said. "I can’t imagine going through what he’s going through and having that attitude. I just can’t imagine just how he goes on every day. I’d curl up in a ball every day and cry.”

However, Andrea said she recognizes that they have been dealt a hand, and how they play that hand is up to them.

"It’s not fair, but it’s our life now and we do what we have to do,” she said.

Ryan said it's as simple as focusing on the positive and living in the moment.

“Appreciate every day for what it’s worth," he said. "Don’t worry about who said what, just live each day in case it is your last. You just never know.”

How you can help

For more information about the Humphrey family, this weekend's  benefit, or how you can help the family, visit  nobodyfightsalone.com.  Golf outing tickets are $100 each or $35 for dinner only with proceeds going to the Humphrey family.

To donate to the Humphrey family via PayPal using a credit or debit card, click here.

Donations may also be mailed to:

Ryan and Andrea Humphrey
PO Box 453
Grand Ledge, MI 48837

or

Bank of America
820 Charlevoix Dr., Suite 280
Grand Ledge, MI 48837

Donations to the "Ryan Humphrey Donation Trust" may also be deposited at any local Bank of America branch. The account number is 3750 1133 9071.