Breast Cancer Survivor Lauren Adney's Message To Fellow Fighters

In honor of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, we asked Patch readers to share their breast cancer journeys on Patch. This is Lauren Adney's story:

My name is Lauren, and I am a survivor!

I was 33 years old when I awoke one morning and had this odd feeling that I should do a self breast exam. I haven't done a self exam in years. Much to my surprise, I found a lump and instantly panicked. My mother also survived breast cancer so I knew it was a real possibility. I made an appointment and was told by the physician that it had to be a cyst as I was too young for it to be cancer. I will not mention the doctor by name as I never went back after that visit. My last words to him were, "Cancer doesn't pick an age because if it did there would be no need for St. Judes." He then recommended another clinic to verify what the lump was, however they couldn't see me for two weeks. The thought of having to wait even longer was crushing.

After going home and talking with my mom about it she made a call to a friend of hers by the name of Bill. Bill then reached out to Dr. Todd Tuttle and within a couple of days I was at the University of Minnesota meeting one of the physicians that was involved in breast cancer research.

Dr. Tuttle listened, he took me seriously, performed an exam and upon feeling the lump he arranged for a biopsy almost immediately. My biopsy was on a Friday and when I didn't hear anything by Monday afternoon I called the clinic. Much to my dismay, my worst fears had just come true: It was the "C" word. How would I explain this to my kids that were ages 9 and 14?

It was a very aggressive Her2+ cancer and Dr. Tuttle thought it was caught early and only at a stage one cancer. After undergoing a lumpectomy, the pathology results came back as a stage 2 grade 3. Dr. Tuttle was right, it was caught early.

I also underwent radiation and chemotherapy. The radiation was easy. The chemo was the hard part. I can tell nightmare stories about my chemo experience, but anyone who has known someone with cancer knows all of these nightmare stories. I'd like to tell a different story.

When a woman is told she has cancer and she needs chemo, there is almost a crippling panic. In my case, I had long hair and I was about to lose it. Dr. Tuttle couldn't understand this as it was only hair and I was in a fight for my life. He talked with Bill and I received a phone call from Bill asking me if I could help him understand why losing my hair was impacting me almost worse than the actual cancer diagnosis.

I told him that the cancer was not only affecting my body on the inside, but it was also going to affect me on the outside. My identity, my womanhood and everything I love about me. You see, if you were to see a bald man on the street you would think nothing of it. When you see a bald woman, you see the whispers and most people wonder what kind of illness you have. So not only does it affect the inside, it affects the outside too. I didn't want to be a walking, talking billboard that screams, "I have cancer." Bill took that back to Dr. Tuttle and he finally understood why and even spoke about it at a physicians conference. Ironically, I was out shopping with my mother a short time after that and a stranger approached me and blatantly asked me what type of cancer I had. I was now that walking, talking billboard that I didn't want to become.

I did end up having a double mastectomy to help reduce my chances of the cancer returning.

Imagine having to be strong for your family. My husband was wonderful, but had recently lost his mom to cancer. My teenage daughter was angry at me for getting sick. Although, I don't believe that she was personally angry at me, I believe it was the fear of the unknown. Then there was my 9-year-old. How do you explain what is happening without scaring this little girl into wondering if she will have a mom? Honestly, I was strong by day and after everyone else went to bed, I allowed myself to feel all of the emotions. I cried, I got angry and some nights I even went out to the garage and screamed.

But I beat cancer! I am now 46 years old. I have been through breast reconstruction, my hair has grown out. My kids are now adults and I have three amazing grandchildren. This year I am lucky to be celebrating my 20th wedding anniversary to my wonderful husband.

Cancer is not easy, but surrounding myself with my family made it possible. Whether it was my mom making a dream come true and surprising me with a John Michael Montgomery concert along with a meet and greet, or my nephew and his wife who came to the hospital after the double mastectomy and brought me "booby candy" hoping I could humor in it. How about my husband and niece who both offered to shave their heads so that the hair could be turned into wigs for me? Or the challenges from a teenager that showed her love by acting angry? That was okay with me as I understood her behavior even though she didn't at the time. Then there was my youngest, who was always sure to give the hugs as well as the words, "I love you."

Not everyone is able to beat cancer. For anyone who has been diagnosed with breast cancer, please do not give up. You are not alone. Take in those quirky family moments as those will the best take away memories from this difficult experience. You are strong and everyone has a purpose.

—Lauren Adney

Photo Credit: Lauren Adney

See more stories from other breast cancer survivors, fighters and supporters, here.

To learn more about breast cancer or how you can help, please visit The National Breast Cancer Foundation.