Trump Stump Lands on Moon Township, PA.

Stand back, George Wallace.

Move over, Huey Long.

There’s a new fascist demagogue in town and he’s got enough sparkle n’ shine to make day-old boogers glitter like Fool’s Gold. He’s also got enough unmitigated gall to make his masses believe he’s gifting them with silvery speech and real honest-to-God gold. Need I say more? You know who he is.

I’m talking about Brother Trump and his Traveling Salvation Show. I’m talking about another crazy pep rah-rah rally for the undereducated voters who voted him into the White House (much to the chagrin of those voters who actually showed up for Civics class and didn’t fall asleep.) I’m talking about yet another con, courtesy of the Master Con Man himself —

Oh, wait. I don’t mean to sound THAT condescending. Ignorant voters who got beguiled and bamboozled by this savvy grifter have rights, too. I’m not trying to hurt feelings or humiliate anyone here. So let me start all over. This time I’ll try to be nicer. (I can only TRY, though.)

Hello, Moon Township, PA. The name of your town is cool, even though you don’t even know how or why your town got named Moon Township. Now Moon Township is on the map, anyway. Now everyone will be talking about you because on Saturday night, on March 10, 2018, The Great Leader came to town. YOUR Great Leader — the guy Moon Township loved and believed so much that the auditorium where he appeared was packed to capacity. So many people wanted to hear The Donald speak that hundreds — no thousands! as he might say — had to be turned away.

But then it was SHOWTIME: Time to make America great again with the same old fascist communication, same old propaganda tactics. As usual, Brother Trump followed his usual M.O. Same old crap, different day. He figured his base was so stupid they wouldn’t notice. And they didn’t.

He “dumbed down” his speech to all-encompassing 3rd grade level, using simple — not complex or compound — sentences.

He kept repeating the same ideas, same words, over and over, often using and re-using the same catch-phrases verbatim.

He encouraged audience participation by getting the crowd to chant catch-phrases in unison (previous examples: “Lock her up!” or “Drain the Swamp!”).

He congratulated himself for doing such a great job as Chief Executive, yet also tried to garner sympathy by portraying himself as a victim of media attacks.

As usual, he came up with unexpected, unfiltered comments that seemed all the more outrageous because he pulled them out of left field.

On this particular night, Trump really outdid himself. He criticized the media (both specifically and in general) for its “fake news.” He denounced political reporter/analyst Chuck Todd as a “sleepy-eyed son-of-a-b***h.” Then he offered a solution to America’s drug problem the way you’d offer a hungry lion a slab of red meat. I’m paraphrasing here to save space, but the following content of his speech is essentially accurate:
You say you’re scared of drug dealers? You say you’re fed up with them? You say they’re destroying our very fabric of American Life? Death to all drug dealers! Forget about due process. Forget about our justice system — it’s broken. Innocent people are dying in the streets. More people are dying from drug overdoses in this country than from terrorist attacks. Or from car accidents. Or from cancer. That’s why drug dealers should get the death penalty! What d’you think? Don’t you think they should get the death penalty? Doesn’t that make sense to you?

And the capacity crowd in Moon Township roared! Hurray! Death to all drug dealers! Death to all drug dealers!

Notice how this mob wasn’t chanting for just punishment anymore with phrases like “Lock her up! Lock her up!” Moon Township crossed the line. Now with The Donald’s manipulation, the admiring crowd had turned into an angry mob that wanted blood.

Never mind that his solution to America’s drug problem blatantly ignored fundamental issues, like the Definition of “Drug Dealer” and “Drugs.”

POTUS #45 actually demanded death for drug dealers without giving any much-needed specifics. He just fired up his base without defining who a drug dealer would really be, without defining which drugs would be covered under his new policy. Recreational Drugs? Legalized Drugs? Prescription Drugs? Over-The-Counter-Drugs? Just which medications should fall under the category of “Drugs?”

Such specifics should become crucial whenever the death penalty comes to the table.

So your best friend passes you a joint at a party, you inhale, then foolishly get in your car and die in a horrible accident. Is your best friend considered a “Drug Dealer?” Or does that definition include ALL the party goers who knew pot would be at the fete but didn’t take away your car keys?

Suppose you’re at high school with a splitting headache and a helpful teacher or lunch lady or librarian reaches in her purse and offers you an OTC Motrin pill — just one pill. You take it and drop dead soon after because, unbeknownst to you, you had a life-threatening allergy to NSAIDS. Then what? In Trumplandia, the Miss Grundys of the World would be charged with murder and punished accordingly. They would die!

How easy it is for The Great Leader to pull these outlandish solutions out of his butt, then blame Congress for not enacting his undemocratic brainstorms into actual laws. But certainly, the misinformed and gullible working class/Blue Collar voters who elected him to the highest political office in the land should also share some of the blame. Whatever happened to that down-to-earth common sense you were so supposedly famous for having? Where did your down-home family values go?

This city slicker with a history of bankruptcy, shady real estate deals, and screwing his workers, came to your town and smiled at you. He made jokes. He shook your hands. He kissed your babies. He promised to open the factories and the steel mills and the coal mines for you. AND YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVED HIM? WHY?

I want to say he deceived you, not that you were too stupid to vote. But after all this deception, you voters — like the ones at that Moon Township Mob — still like this lyin’ liar. You still make excuses for him. You still rationalize his outrageous conduct. You still refuse to acknowledge you made a terrible mistake when you voted Donald Trump to be The President of The United States.

Why? What is it going to take to make you come to your senses and admit you made a bad political decision by voting for him?

Right before the Moon Township tirade, Trump arbitrarily imposed new tariffs on imported steel and aluminum. His action ignited retaliation from other countries that involved iconic American products…like motorcycle giant Harley Davidson, for example. Not a good thing. But even the workers getting screwed refused to say anything bad about Trump.

In fact, the Harley Davidson plant in Kansas City, Missouri is closing. 800 workers there will lose their jobs. A new plant will be built in Pennsylvania. But it will only employ 400 workers. Not what The Great Leader promised on the campaign trail, that’s for sure.

A few days ago, this story was broadcast on the evening news and five workers facing imminent unemployment were interviewed. They blamed Washington politicians, but not Trump. When the reporter asked if they thought politicians in Washington understood what they were going through, they all said no. Then they said nothing else. But their faces reflected the utter despair of lost trust and betrayal.

Sorry you got screwed, guys, but you could at least man up and admit it.

Admit it: you got hoodwinked into voting for a sociopath who had no background or experience in politics. But he did have his own TV show! He was a celebrity! He came to town, flattered you, cajoled you, made you promises he couldn’t possibly keep. Then you elected him to be President of The United States because you fell for his scam. And now, after he’s held the highest political office in the land for over a year, you’ve finally realized he never did give a rat’s ass about you or your problems?
Not even fictional preacher Elmer Gantry in all his huckster glory could have conned you the way Donald Trump did. But keep your chins up. Only three more years before you suckers can vote for him again.