Question and Answers with a Matchmaker

Questions and Answers with a Matchmaker

1) Know each other’s Personality Types: Looking for a unique date activity? Think you know your partner? A personality test can be a great way for you to not only learn more about yourself but also your partner and how you both respond to other types of personalities. One of my favorites that we use on our clients is the Enneagram. Another is the classic love language. Make this a date night activity and learn something new about each other.

2) Plan an Official Monthly Check-In: Sit down and have a meeting with your partner to take an inventory of everything in your relationship. Are you both feel you are getting enough attention and affection? How about the kids? Are you both spending enough time with family and friends? Make a monthly list of all the things that are important and go through them. Some things will be fine one month then the next may need a little more attention. This way, everything is really addressed as a partnership.

3) Leave out the Why’s: We all find ourselves asking our partner, “Why did you do that” or “Why do you think that’s a good idea?” after they do something that we just don’t understand. These “why” questions will cause your partner to feel defensive. If you ask what happened it helps to get to the core of what is really going on. By asking questions that begin with who, what, when, or where, you don’t leave the other person feeling like they have to defend themselves.

4) Read or Listen to a Relationship Book Together: Knowledge is power. The more you both know and understand relationships, the better you can be at building a great one. Most people have the attitude and mindset that they can just learn as they go, which is why so often people tend to make the same mistakes in relationships and we get into the same patterns over and over again, because we aren’t putting enough energy and reflection into learning more about ourselves and our relationships.

5) Money Arrangements: Money is the leading cause of divorce. Hence, it’s a good idea to sort out finances in advance and come to an agreement. Many couples who both works have arrangements where they keep their money separate and both cover certain bills. Other couples where one doesn’t work will need to come up with an agreement on a budget for miscellaneous expenses. That way they’re not arguing every time he goes golfing or she steps into Lululemon.

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