Mental Health Awareness Month - Bruce Yellin

Press release from the Somerset County Safe Communities Coalition:

May 23, 2021

Overcoming Shame and Stigma to Reclaim Your Rightful Place in the World

by Bruce Yellin, L.C.S.W. Academic Advisor/Personal Counselor

RVCC Project Director, Safe Communities Coalition

As a mental health counselor at Raritan Valley Community College for the last 15 years, I have had the unique privilege of listening to students share their personal stories. The most common recurring theme that I hear is one of self-doubt, feelings of inadequacy, and an overall fear that they will not be successful, or worse yet, shame about who they are as a person.

These negative thoughts and beliefs about themselves did not come out of thin air – they had to be instilled, cultivated and reinforced by experiences and messages that they received in the past which are now imprinted into the hard drive of their brains. Those who have had psychological, social, intellectual and developmental challenges at an early age are even more at risk for feeling inadequate and developing depression, social anxiety and other mental health issues. Some have misused alcohol, marijuana, prescription or other drugs to self-medicate for these feelings.

Traumatic experiences including emotional neglect, intimidation and bullying as well as the societal and institutional pressures to achieve, compete, and shine can have a huge impact on anyone. Those from various target and marginalized communities can also be negatively impacted by these experiences. If you add in social messaging that is instantaneous, unfiltered and can easily diminish self-esteem, then those most as risk can feel further alienated and less than.

This is all at the very core of why we have mental health month. It is about stepping into a life of recovery to claim your rightful position as a worthy, conscious, compassionate person. The truth is that every person matters, is already enough, and has self-worth no more than or less than anybody else. Every person deserves to express their feelings – joy, sadness, anger, shame, and fear and nurture themselves and set healthy boundaries in their lives. Every person is entitled to support and guidance from counselors, psychiatrists, rehabilitation & peer recovery specialists, and/or faith leaders.

Parents are no different. They matter just as much and are also entitled to compassion, understanding, and to ask for and receive whatever support they or their loved ones need for as long as needed.

Shame is the product of both internal and societal messages that distort the truth about your intrinsic value as a human being. It is the fuel that that stokes the fear and paralysis that we call “stigma”. According to the Somerset County Human Services Advisory Council 2020 Needs Assessment, stigma was identified as the number one barrier to seeking mental health and substance use care. https://www.nj.gov/dcf/about/divisions/opma/docs/SomersetCountyHSACNeedsAssessmentReport2020.pdf

1/5 or 20% of people have a diagnosable mental health and/or substance use disorder. In Somerset County, that equates to more residents than the population of Franklin Township, according to our partners at the Somerset County Department of Human Services. With this prevalence, it should not be a source of shame, but understood as integral to our diverse community.

Vocabulary can also reinforce shame and while the medical and insurance systems rely on diagnostic codes to function, we can push back against those labels by seeing that having a mental health or substance use diagnosis cannot override the truth of who we are as persons of substance and value. Someone with a bipolar illness, depression or anxiety is not “mentally ill”. Persons with addictions are not “addicts”. Parents who have loved ones with mental illness or addictions are not less than or inadequate either. Because the vocabulary we use is so impactful, it would be wise to ask those around us what language we should be using when referring to their mental health challenges.

We are all in this together as we work towards emerging from the pandemic and returning to all the things we used to do, but hopefully with a silver lining of being more compassionate and understanding towards ourselves and those around us, especially those who struggle with the challenges of mental health and addictions.

For help and support for individuals and families, here are some valuable resources:

• Bridgeway Psychiatric Emergency Screening Services (PESS): https://www.bridgewayrehab.org/services.somerset.pess.html
• Mental Health First Aid courses offered by Empower Somerset https://www.pioneerfsc.com/course-calendar
• NJ Hopeline: https://njhopeline.com/
• ReachNJ: https://nj.gov/humanservices/reachnj/
• PerformCareNJ (Children’s System of Care): https://www.performcarenj.org/
• Richard Hall Community Health & Wellness Center: https://www.co.somerset.nj.us/government/human-services/mental-health

· Somerset County Hope and Healing: Somerset County Hope & Healing Program | Somerset County

• Somerset Treatment Center: https://www.stscares.org

• Somerset County DHS Newsletter (upcoming events and resources): May 2021 | Somerset County
• Somerset County Wellness Wednesdays https://www.co.somerset.nj.us/Home/Components/News/News/4394/17
• Family Support Center, Hunterdon, Somerset, Mercer counties: https://njprevent.com/family-support-center/

The Somerset County Safe Communities Coalition meets every third Tuesday of the month from 9:30 to 11:00 am. For more information on the Coalition, visit www.safecoaliton.org.

This press release was produced by the Somerset County Safe Communities Coalition. The views expressed here are the author’s own.