Cheerleader, Counselor, Critic: Stage Parent?

Watching the local middle school musical from a seat close to the stage, one I came an hour early to reserve, I clapped loudest for the performers closest to my heart.  When my favorite eighth grade performer danced forward, I cheered loudly, just as I clapped until my hands hurt for a sixth grade first-time hoofer. As I looked around at the audience, I hoped others watching the play recognized what was clear to me: though neither had a starring role—and why not?—the spotlight belonged to those two kids. 

And that was just a warm up: my own kids’ show isn’t until next month. I was cheering on a girl in my Girl Scout troop and a boy I’ve known since he was in first grade. Watching them perform, and realizing that they seemed to pop out of every chorus number they were in, reminded me of how rose-colored my glasses can be when it comes to watching children I know perform.

How then, can parents of children in the performing arts serve as cheerleader, shoulder to cry on and critic? All of these roles seem important—the arts are competitive, even for the youngest performers. The parent of an aspiring actor must drive to the audition, encouraging the child all the way and drive home again. Odds are that drive involves a little counsel and maybe some crying. But most important for a parent is this: how do you step back to assess your own child’s talent, stamina and moxie?

Saturday’s at the are a reminder that, even locally, the stakes are high for kid with ambitions in the arts.  Kids aged 10-18 were invited to audition for the programs. Hundreds applied for the competitive program, each as serious as the next about performance. And the program has generated talent like Anne Hathaway and many Broadway performers like Laura Benanti and Matthrew Scott.

 For purposes of the middle school musical, there’s no need to do more than clap and take photos. But when a child longs for the stage, a parent has to weigh the costs—not only financial, but time, effort and toll on a family—of that ambition against the likelihood of success.

As I chatted with another mother, we listed the recent school musicals, and they were all named for their lead characters. “Only one kid can be the Wiz,” said the other mother. “Mary Poppins, Oliver, Pippin.  The main character, the star, couldn’t be more obvious.”

True, but talent isn’t quite as clear as top billing. I see a star in a sixth grade smile and Broadway in a boy just turned 17. But do they have what it takes? Only time—or a critic—can tell.

The week’s question is this: How do you know when your children have enough talent in the performing arts to outweigh the sacrifices? (And how do you break the news if they don’t?)

Tell us in the comments.

Marcia Worth is the editor of South Orange Patch.