Turtle Races Are All The Rage At This Bed-Stuy Bar

BEDFORD-STUYVESANT, BROOKLYN — A Bed-Stuy dive bar is drawing in the crowds with a heart-pounding, lightning-fast new sport.

Okay, actually it's turtle racing.

Turtles All The Way down at 236 Malcolm X Boulevard has been quietly promoting its turtle-tastic races all summer, according to recent Instagram posts.

"Place your bets please," owners wrote. "Race ya to the bar."

The bar — which comes courtesy of FDNY firefighter Salvatore Fristensky and Stephen Pandolfi — is inspired by a complex metaphysical concept called infinite regress, owners said.

The theory derives from a debate between an established scientist and an elderly woman who believed, "The world is really a flat plate supported on the back of a giant tortoise.”

When the scientists tried to trick her into defeat by asking what the tortoise stands on, she replies, "It’s turtles all the way down.”

Turtles All The Way Down also inspired a song by American country music singer-songwriter Sturgill Simpson.

The name is also inspired by a night out in the Caribbean, Pandolfi told Patch.

"One of my best friends and I were in the Virgin Islands late one night and he was trying to explain to me turtles all the way down as a concept," said Pandolfi.

"A few frozen drinks later and we decided it was a good bar name although I can’t say I am any closer to the answer of what is all about.

What Turtles All The Way Down the bar is about is turtle racing.

If 1940s detective movies are to be believed, turtle racing in bars is a longstanding American tradition. The film "Shadow Of The Thin Man," features Nora Charles, the wife of a boozy and brilliant detective named Nick, winning 240 martinis while betting on the sport.

Every last Sunday of the month, the bar hosts three races on a long track of reptile-safe astro turf that pits turtle against turtle.

"For a dollar you are entered into the race and if your turtles reigns supreme you get a free drink," said Pandolfi.

Races are held at 4 p.m., 5 p.m. and 6 p.m., tickets go on sale at 3 p.m. the day of the race, and the next of racing will be announced on Instagram.

Fristensky — who also owns Lucky Dog, Skinny Dennis, Rocka Rolla, George, Horses and Divorces and Jack's Tap Room in Williamsburg as well as Do or Dive in Bed-Stuy — wasn't immediately available for an interview, but told Barchive a great dive bar should be a place where anyone can go.

"A dive bar is a great equalizer," he said. "Everyone is welcome."

In the Turtles All The Way Down backyard, this includes guests of the four-legged variety.

Fristensky explained the secret to running a successful dive bar is taking care of the essentials: keep the place clean, maintain the air conditioning in the summer and the heat in the winter, and take good care of the staff so they take good care of the customers.

"Our bars may look like dives, but we run them like The Ritz," he said. "It’s not as easy as it looks."

Turtles All The Way

236 Malcolm X Boulevard

Open seven days a week from noon to 4 a.m.