Christmas For The Rich: NYC's Ridiculously Pricey Holiday 'Deals'

NEW YORK CITY — There's this simply absurd notion that the holidays are a time for spending and spending, but it simply isn't true.

With a little cunning and some helpful tips you too can have an affordable, stylish Christmas in New York City without aggravating the stock broker's ulcer, poor man.

Do let us show you just how far a little imagination and a mere $125,000 will go if you decide to do Christmas in New York City instead of at the castle or on that cute little island you bought last week.

Decor

Can you imagine pulling yourself away from the villa to, my word, decorate your home yourself? That's what peasants do! Simply tell your staff to prepare the townhouse for you.

According to a quaint little Times feature, interior designer Scott Salvatore charges a mere $50,000 to spruce the place up.

But is the thought of watching the maid vacuum up all those pesky pine needles too exhausting to bear? Then the Surrey Hotel offers a smashing"Deck The Halls" package that includes a festively decorated room, four ice skating passes and a ginger bread making set.

The deal requires a three night stay, and you simply must use the Presidential Penthouse Suite, which costs only $15,000 a night. So it's $51,000 with those mean little taxes.

Gifts

It's Christmas morning! Butler has fetched the children, Chef has delighted you all with his scrumptious gold crepe bar. Now it's time to open the gifts and we've found some simply delightful trifles

Tiffany's Everyday Objects: Some real bargains here, including $515 clothes pins, a $760 marker pen and a $1,550 coffee can.

The Met To Yourself: Aren't tourists just too taxing? For just $218 per person, you can have the grubby proletariat cleared off and enjoy the Metropolitan Museum of Art in peace.

Jimmy Choo's Diamond Sneakers: Something simple and sporty to support your arches as you walk from the townhouse to the Rolls. A steal at $4,695.

Dining

Nanny, Butler, Chef and Maid have been given eight hours all to themselves as a Christmas treat! Now they can clean the townhouse in peace.

It's time to bundle up little Lazarus jr. and darling Tallulah and take them to Christmas Lunch with Santa at the Carlyle Hotel for a mere $240 per adult, or $150 per child.

Later, why not stop by the Plaza Hotel for Eloise’s Rawther Fancy Tea which costs just $100 per child and $50 per adult, according to the blog Mommy Poppins. Santa has been ordered to read your child a story.

You must be exhausted. Do recover with a quick $10,000 martini at the Algonquin Hotel. Or perhaps reserve the $2,500 Table 55 at the King Cole Bar if you're feeling a bit frugal? You're so responsible.

Then it's time for dinner! What could be more fun that a caviar splurge at Cafe Boulud? The Christmas pre fixe is only $175 a person and for a trifling $275 you can enjoy 30 grams of Kavari Osetra caviar.

But Christmas is a time for family, so you might prefer Private Christmas Dining at the Peninsula?

If so, this intimate, family-style holiday gathering will cost between $2,080 and $3,120, depending on whether the duchess flies in her relatives from Finland. And you will be served turkey, carved table-side.

Which is nice because it gives the butler a break.