Today's Snow Totals; Daring Pony Escape; Gym Teacher Attack; Thundersnow! PM Digest

NEW YORK, NY — Well that's the last time we heed the apocalyptic warnings of the National Weather Service and wait five hours in line at Trader Joe's for emergency snowstorm kale. Here are the top 11 local news stories worth talking about as the sun sets behind this underwhelming sleetstorm on Tuesday, March 14, as pulled from our 28 neighborhood Patch sites across NYC.

Behold: Running Snow Totals For Today's Storm, Neighborhood By Neighborhood

The Bronx and Queens have gotten hit the hardest.

And An Hour-By-Hour Forecast For The Rest Of The Night

Plus some thundersnow footage from earlier, because you deserve it.

Massive Fire Tears Through $27M Upper East Side Mansion

Firefighters fought back the three-alarm blaze for hours at the peak of the snowstorm.

Two Buildings In Queens Also Collapsed During The Storm

Luckily, no one was inside.

Meanwhile, Thousands Of Flights Were Cancelled Today At NYC Airports

And even more flights are cancelled tomorrow, all in the name of — you guessed it — Winter Storm Stella.

Staten Island Ponies Detained By NYPD For Prancing Around In The Snow

Two miniature horses escaped captivity this morning to prance through the snowy streets of Staten Island. Their freedom, however, was fleeting.

Central Park Snowball Fight Tomorrow Will Raise Money For City's Homeless

If there's even enough snow left to ball.

Williamsburg Gym Teacher Body-Slams 7-Year-Old Boy In Disturbing 'Assault,' Police Say

P.E. teacher Matthew Demma, 52, allegedly grabbed a young student by his shirt and threw him to the ground in the January attack. He's since been relegated to the rubber room while school officials and cops investigate.

New York State Trooper Dies From 9/11-Related Brain Cancer

Brian Falb was stationed in Lower Manhattan after the 2001 attacks to help with search-and-recovery efforts.

After Months Of Ignoring Neighbors, Brooklyn Bar Changes 'Racist' Name

The "Crow Bar" marquee in Crown Heights has been replaced with one that says, somewhat more innocuously, "Franklin 820."

A Retired NYPD Officer Was Just Found Dead In Her Car

Story developing in Queens this afternoon...