Longtime LI Music Teacher, 60, Left Homeless During Pandemic

NORTH FORK, NY — The year began on a high note for *Eldie — who asked that her real name not be used to protect her privacy — a single mom on the North Fork. For the first time in what seemed like forever, she received a tax refund and bought tickets for herself and her son to visit Italy for Easter. Life in January seemed bright with promise.

Ten months later, Eldie is living in a women's emergency homeless shelter, her life upended by the pandemic and the sudden loss of her job and home.

Remembering January, Eldie, a soft-spoken, gentle woman who spent years as a self-employed private music instructor and, most recently, as a caretaker for a homebound elderly client, said the trip was to be a longtime dream realized.

"We had not been on vacation since 2005," she said.

During the many years when she'd struggled as a single mom to raise her youngest son, Eldie long envisioned the day when she could take him on a real trip to Europe, seeing Rome and her family's ancestral town in Sicily.

With the dawn of 2020, that trip of a lifetime was just a heartbeat away from becoming reality.

Eldie, who turned 60 this year, wanted to travel with her son to celebrate his impending graduation from high school — a journey they would remember forever.

"We were so excited and happy," she said. "That was back in February. In March, my son came home and announced that school may be closed for a week or two because of COVID. Well, as we all know, everything was canceled."

The Italy trip was no longer possible; the airline took three months to refund the fare, Eldie said. Her son, an honor student, saw his senior year derailed, Eldie said.

"No play, no sports, no senior trip, no prom, and almost no graduation," she said. "But a modified graduation was held — and I am still wearing the mask that each guest received."

She still wears that mask during the cold days of November as she sits at the kitchen table of the women's emergency shelter where she has been a resident since late October.

"I am a homeless woman at the age of 60," she said. "Homeless for the first time in my life. It takes a lot of courage to admit this current reality. I never dreamed I would be saying these words. I am homeless in 2020."

Eldie is not a criminal, has never been arrested, she said. She is not a drug addict or an alcoholic. She does not suffer from from any physical disability or mental illness and is medicated only for high blood pressure.

"So why am I homeless?" she said. "I am homeless because I did not take my mom's sage advice: 'Save your money for a rainy day.' That rainy day is here and I have three umbrellas but no money for rent."

Having been a single, divorced mom for 20 years, Eldie's work as a music instructor was fruitful for a long time. Through the years, enrollment dwindled. With the coronavirus, she has no students, doesn't own a computer and people aren't inviting teachers into their homes like they once did, she said.

Eldie made the choice not to work full-time as she raised her youngest child, the choice to be home with him as he was growing up.

"I have managed to scrape by with a string of part-time jobs — cashier, waitress, bagel counter server, farm helper, elder care. But these jobs were all minimum wage jobs and even if I had worked at them a full 40-hour week, East End rent costs are still out of reach for me," Eldie said.

For several years, she lived in a small cottage behind her parents' home, until they downsized and moved to an apartment out of town. Next, she heard of the job as a caregiver for an elderly and ailing woman.

"My son and I moved in with her and cared for her, along with other caregivers, until she passed away in June. So I then lost not only my live-in caregiver job, but our home, when the house was put up for sale," she said.

The rapid descent into despair took place as her son prepared to graduate from high school and prepare for college where, thankfully, he received a full, four-year scholarship and is now living in a dorm.

"We spent the summer bouncing from friend to friend, and on relatives' couches or air mattresses on the floor. We had to find a new home for our beloved cat — thank God he was adopted quickly — and store all of our belongings in a storage unit which costs $130 a month for a 5 x 8 unit. Most of our precious things are in there, photo albums, childhood toys, a few dishes, my son's new bike," Eldie said.

Those things may seem small, Eldie said, but it's the little things that are everything — the memories that make up a life. And she worries that the day may come when she can no longer pay for the storage unit.

As she searched for a new job and place to live, Eldie's small amount of savings was spent on hotels and restaurants. Today, unemployment pays $150 a week, which barely covers the most basic expenses.

Coronavirus paved path to homelessness

The coronavirus also paved Eldie's harrowing path into homelessness. Along with lost income, landlords had new fears about renting a room or sharing a home. And on the East End, renters moving out from New York City put a strain on the availability of North Fork housing stock, she said.

And then, there is the search for employment during a time when the local economy is reeling from the pandemic.

"I have not been able to find a job anywhere yet. That is, a job that would pay enough money to allow me to afford rent on the North Fork," she said. "All I need is a bedroom and a bathroom but I cannot find it. I don't even know if any such thing exists."

But, she added: "As I am adjusting to life in a shelter for homeless women" — the emergency shelter is provided by Suffolk County's Department of Social Services — "and all the rules that come with it, I try to remain hopeful."

The list of rules is long to keep the facility safe and structured for all, Eldie said: No more than two bags of belongings may be brought to the shelter. No alcohol or drugs are allowed on-site and no one under the influence may be admitted. Cameras monitor activity in hallways and common spaces 24/7; there is a 9 p.m. curfew, and TV is available from 4 p.m. to 9 p.m. in a common space with a monitor. Temperatures must be taken at the door and all bags searched for weapons. There is no food eaten in any room but the kitchen, which closes at 10 p.m. Mandated chores are to be done twice daily.

And yet, it is a safe space, a warm shelter where Eldie shares a room with another woman. A place to find respite as she searches for a new job and new home. She is ready and eager to work; she still has her car and phone and just needs a chance, an opportunity so that she can once again become employed and find a place of her own.

There are days, she said, when it is not easy to remain upbeat, when optimism falters.

"With the news of COVID numbers rising again and a new lockdown looming on the horizon, it is hard to remain hopeful that life will improve anytime soon. I know that I am not alone in my situation," Eldie said.

According to Dan O'Shea, executive director of Maureen's Haven, a homeless outreach program that operates under the auspices of Peconic Community Council on the East End, ever since the pandemic hit in early March, the organization has been consistently busy with a "significant increase in calls for support not only on the East End but throughout Suffolk County."

Not only is there in uptick in individuals needing assistance turning out at the organization's day center in Riverhead for services, but also, there's been an increase in homeless utilizing the Maureen's Haven overnight shelter program since it opened again for the season. But even that program, comprised of volunteers who provide dinner, a place to sleep and both breakfast and lunch at East End houses of worship, has been impacted by COVID-19. In past years, 20 or so houses of worship signed up; this year, there are only 12 and the number of nightly guests that can be sheltered is 32. Many volunteers are in an older age group and are hesitant to come onboard this year, he said.

The number of 32 nightly homeless guests, O'Shea said, doesn't include those individuals — who may have been living with a family member who has now passed away — who are now living in their cars or in the woods on the East End, or who are struggling to find shelter with beloved pets. Many want to stay in their cars or near their hometowns.

"If they were born and raised in Greenport or Sag Harbor, they want to stay in Greenport or Sag Harbor," he said.

This year, O'Shea said he has seen an marked increase in the number of individuals, aged 55 and up, who do not qualify for DSS assistance.

As for Eldie, she is grateful for the safe shelter provided by DSS.

"I am happy that Social Services is there for us when we need it," she said. "And the way things are going these days, more and more are going to need it. Low-paying and few jobs, high rent, no affordable apartments — it's a recipe for disaster."

But despite her gratitude for a safe haven, Eldie still finds it hard to believe that at 60, she is now counted as one of the homeless in Suffolk County.

"I am not proud of myself for not planning better or that rainy day Mom spoke of. But neither am I ashamed to be poor. There are a lot of worse things than being poor," she said.

Still, there are things she might have done differently, she said. During the years when a vacation was out of reach and the kitchen at the home where she cared for her elderly charge was shared by other caretakers, she often took her son out to restaurants for dinner.

"I could have stayed home and cooked, saved that money," she said. "I could have saved every penny I earned through the years, but I didn't. And here I am."

But Eldie believes in the promise of a better tomorrow. Believes that one day, she will have a new job and a home to call her own.

"That is my faith," she said. "I didn't fret about saving my money. Because I have done a lot of volunteer work through the years, in different ways, and also given money to less fortunate when they needed it, during all my years as an adult. So, I know that God provides. And He is always on the job — even now in this place where I'm at."

A GoFundMe page has been created to help Eldie. To donate, click here.