How To Balance Kids, Work And Self As A Parent

It feels like someone snuck a few extra balls into the parenting juggling act these days. Between work and caring for our kids, our partners and ourselves, it's easy to get overwhelmed (and cranky).

Growing up, it never felt like my mother, who worked full-time in New York City, had it as bad. By 5:30 p.m., she was home with her feet up on the coffee table watching the local news. Dinner was made in the morning and ready for us when we got home. She was either some kind of super mom or life was easier back then — or maybe a combination of the two.

Our generation is a bit more hectic for just about a million reasons: The digital world won’t let us tune out, full-time jobs are more demanding, we want more quality time with our kids, middle-class expenses are higher, grandparents aren’t always around to help — and that's just a few items on the list.

But the reasons don’t matter as much as long as we have some solutions. I checked in with some moms who are finding ways to navigate and balance their lives in 2019. Here’s what is working for them:

Shop Together

Nikki Ramsey Hootman says, "Save all the errands for when your kids are with you and awake. It's quality time, and it's educational! I have a lot of good talks with my kids when we're out grocery shopping. Two birds, one stone!"

Schedule Mom Hours

"I schedule 'self' time — usually it's the gym, sometimes it's time for a hobby," says mother Rebecca Alwine. "My children know I'm happier when I work out and they have 'suffered' through summer gym child care in order for me to yell less. I set work hours, I set 'mom' hours and I set gym hours. Then, when they all need to run together, it's the exception and not the rule."

Don’t Forget to Read

"When my daughter was first born, I was so anxious and exhausted that I basically gave up reading for pleasure," recalls mother Sarah Shemkus. "But a few months in, I started requiring myself to read for at least 10 minutes before bed every night and it has been so important. Just snapping my brain out of its preoccupations and letting myself immerse in something outside myself has been so good for my mental health. It reminds me of the world beyond my little household concerns and makes me feel like myself and not only a mother."

Small Doses are Big

Mom Suzanne Brown says, “Look for small doses of self-care to keep your cup full. I bookend my day with self-care. I start with a self-care check-in, where I see how I'm doing and make adjustments. And then I end my day with writing in my gratitude journal and reading."

Plan Ahead

Brown adds, "When it comes to balancing between work and my family, I'm incredibly intentional with my time. I take 15 to 20 minutes each Sunday to plan out my week, set my goals and set my priorities. And then each night I carve out 10 to 15 minutes to plan the next day, based on my Sunday goals and priorities. It helps me figure out how best to use my time, including thinking about what I'd like to achieve as a mom."

Use Commutes for Personal Time

Cindy Marie Jenkins says, "I had a really hard time with my long commutes. I was also feeling frustrated that I had no time for personal or professional development and so I didn't feel like myself — so I turned the car time into audiobook and podcast time."

Parenting in the 21st century might feel like a circus act gone wrong, but if we think creatively and stay open to new ways of caring for ourself and loved ones, we will find our footing again.

Other Parenting News:

• How To Feel Like Yourself Again After Becoming A Mom
• Learning To Trust Our Own Parenting Instincts
• Leader Or Follower: Does It Matter Which One Your Toddler Is?