How To Explain Christmas To Your Jewish Children

Last year, my then-3-year-old wasn't too fond of Santa Claus. When Santa came up to him at supermarkets or events and shouted, "Ho ho ho!" he would put his hands over his face and growl. Something about the jolly man with a long white beard creeped him out.

As basically non-practicing Jews, our son's reaction was convenient for us because we didn’t have to worry about explaining that Santa wasn't delivering toys to us through a chimney we didn't have. But this year, everything has changed. Our boy is smarter and wiser, and he sees Santa as the gift-giving saint he is — which means we have some explaining to do.

Of course, when we try to tell him that we celebrate Hanukkah in our household, he refuses to understand. He yells, “No, I want gifts from Santa!” and then proceeds to tell me, "We are Christmas and Hanukkah," which is his way of demanding gifts from two denominations! He's no dummy.

I got some advice from other moms about how to handle our Santa-loving Jewish boy, and here's what they shared:

Keep It Secret

Mom Beth says, "My kids wouldn’t expect gifts from Santa because we have always told them that he’s not real but that it’s a big secret they can’t tell their friends." Personally, I wonder how well kids can keep a secret, but maybe it's worth finding out?

Join the Christmas Crew

Mom Jenn explains that her Jewish husband grew up getting stockings full of little things on Christmas morning. She says, "I don't think he believed in Santa, but it was his parents' modest way of making him and his siblings feel less 'outside' a ubiquitous cultural experience that was happening all around them. I know that's a really complicated thing to unpack, to say the least, but I understand their motives."

Be Honest

Mom Kimberly tells me she dislikes Santa (although puts it more bluntly). She says, "We have continuously told our son that Santa is a tradition that other people, called Christians, celebrate. Being Jewish, we don't celebrate, but we enjoy activities when invited by friends. He didn't get it last year at 2 years old, and it was a rough holiday season. But this year, he'll tell anyone who asks him about Santa that 'We don't celebrate and not everyone is Christian.'"

Mom and Dad Are Your Santas

Mom Debi told her kids that Santa is a fun and sweet tradition for kids who celebrate Christmas and then tells her kids, "Mommy and Daddy buy you presents, which you'll get starting on Dec. 22 this year." She also told her kids not to ruin Santa for anyone else but just to tell their friends that Santa only goes to houses that celebrate Christmas.

Take a Turn at Santa

Writer and mom Amy Paturel isn't Jewish but has a great idea for handling the season of Santa (or any holiday) as she writes in this Washington Post piece. "Instead of creating an elaborate Santa Claus myth for our kids, Brandon and I decided to flip the fable and make 'playing Santa' our Christmas tradition." Each year, the family decides who gets their gifts; and on nights leading up to Christmas, they drop off wrapped presents on the doorsteps of unsuspecting families’ houses and disappear before they're spotted.

These are all great ideas. Thank you, mamas! I think we will stick with the "We don't celebrate Christmas, but we can still love Santa and get (and give!) Hanukkah gifts instead!" message.

I might even get a cute photo of our boy sitting on Santa's lap — I just won't share it with my observant Jewish mother-in-law! On Christmas morning, those Legos won't arrive from Santa, but he'll be so excited to get them that he might not mind. Happy holidays!

Other Parenting News:

• Real Parents' Advice On Handling Holiday Stress
• How To Keep The Whole Family Sane This Winter Break
• How To Tame Your Child's Holiday Gift Obsession