How To Tame Your Child's Holiday Gift Obsession

The holidays are almost here — which means my child’s toy obsession is about to get kicked into high gear. Since we are Jewish, I can explain that Santa doesn’t give us toys, but then he might demand eight days of Hanukkah toys instead!

Last year, my son was scared of Santa, but this year he loves getting new toys so much that he’s pushed his fears aside. Now, he’s eagerly awaiting new toys for Christmas and Hanukkah.

It's been making me wonder how other families handle the intense consumerism of the holidays and keep their kids from becoming toy obsessed. So I checked in with moms and experts, and here are some of their plans:

Make Some Rules

When it comes to the holidays, it's always good to lay down some ground rules. Mom Kat says, "I’m trying to stick to the something you want, something you need, something to wear or something to read this year. It’s hard. I really want to buy them tons of stuff, but money is tight — and I want them to expect less, honestly."

Experiences Over Toys

Theresa Picket, owner of the blog Theresa's Reviews, is gifting experiences and skipping toys that her kids won't hold onto for a long time. "I've also let the grandparents know that clothes and experiences are welcome this year but that we are tight on space," she says.

Three And Done

Try putting a limit on the number of gifts you give, so your kids know what to expect. Mom Kathy says, "We’ve done the three-gift rule since our son was born almost 21 years ago. We have three kids, and it’s worked out great for us. It makes us really focus on what they want."

No Checking Mail

Mom Mary says that last year, her kids were looking through catalogues filled with toys and getting overly excited about new toys. "This year, I decided that only I was allowed to check the mail during this season. I tossed all the catalogues before they were retrieved by my kids to avoid the obsessing over what they want for Christmas."

Liz Frazier Peck is a financial planner who wrote the book "Beyond Piggy Banks and Lemonade Stands: How to Teach Young Kids About Finance (And They're Never Too Young)." She offered this advice:

Begin The Season By Encouraging Gratitude

Explain to your child that some people have more than they do but that many people have less. If you have food to eat, a warm home and a loving family, you are one of the lucky ones. The best way to do this is through example. Show your appreciation for the little things in life, and your child will be less likely to take things for granted. Ask your child what they are thankful for, or ask them to list three good things that happened today. A general sense of gratitude encourages compassion and fuels the desire to give back. This also puts the focus on what's important during the holidays and not getting more stuff.

Discuss Wants Versus Needs

As your kids start to create their never-ending list of what they want this holiday season, start the discussion on needs versus wants. Explain that needs are things that are essential, such as food, water and shelter. Wants are things that are nice to have but you can live without, such as a LEGO set or bracelet. Thinking about gifts in this way will help them prioritize what’s most important to them.

Set Expectations And Limits

Tell them that they can’t get everything they want so they have to review their list, prioritize what they are asking for and then narrow it down.

Teach Your Kids About Advertising

Through TV, iPad and catalogs, kids are suddenly being flooded with “amazing, exciting, adorable and one-of-a- kind” gift ideas. This is the time to teach your kids why companies advertise. Explain that the company that makes that toy wants people to buy it. Every time someone buys one of the toys, that company makes money. This means that the company will say anything to make people want to buy the toy. They may say it’s the fastest, best, prettiest or coolest toy ever, but that doesn’t mean it’s true. Help your child understand that they have to decide on their own if they want to buy something and that advertising shouldn’t influence their decision.

Help Them Create A Gift Budget

Work with your kids to determine whom they want to buy gifts for this year, then take a look at their savings to see how much they have available to spend. Tell your kids up front how much money you are willing to give them for the gifts they buy. Once your kids know the total amount they have to spend, they can determine how much to spend on each person. If your kids don’t have enough money to buy for everyone, this is the time to help them create a savings plan. Give them odd jobs around the home or extra chores to help them save money. This activity sheds some light on resources, showing your child there’s not an endless supply of gifts — and money.

Focus On Giving Back

Talk to your child about all the ways that people can use the money to help those in need. Help them research ways they can donate money and explore the charitable causes that are important to them. If you have an animal lover, find a local shelter that will accept donations. If your child doesn’t already have a piggy bank just for sharing, set one up now and ask your child to allocate a little to it from chores and job money.

Set A Good Example

As always, the best way to teach your child anything is to lead by example. Set your own budget and gift list, and stick to it. Demonstrate smart shopping with your child by avoiding impulse buying and doing some research before making a purchase. Most of all, focus on what’s important. If you express gratitude for all you have and don’t focus on the consumerism of the season, your kids will follow.

This is a good plan. Now, I just have to stick to it — and not get dissuaded by the cries for Hanukkah toys and Santa's presents — and focus on creating some meaningful memories. Happy holidays, everyone!

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