How To Win The Toddler Television Battle

If I could turn back time (yes, Cher’s song starts playing in my head as soon as I say that), I would do one thing differently with my child: I would have taken our pediatrician's advice to take down the television in our living room and drag it out of our home.

She was right: Our 3-year-old is now addicted to television like a drug. I’ve tried to set limits but our son is tough. He gets hysterical when I attempt to turn off the TV after about an hour. After each show, he cries endlessly for "one more." When I give him one more, he has another crazy fit once the show is over, holding up his finger in my face. Then, after the TV is finally off, he can get a little dark and moody. As my friend with three boys would say, "TV is the savior and the devil all in one."

Like many couples, my husband and I don’t always agree on what is a good amount of screen time each day. My husband says an hour is enough. I beg for two hours, since I spend most of the time alone with him and need coffee breaks.

This screen time doesn’t even include phone time in the car, which I need so my kid stays awake and goes to bed at a reasonable hour. Needless to say, one or two hours can sometimes turn into more than three hours. And sometimes I feed our toddler dinner while he watches his shows. But this is only because he eats so much better in front of the TV and sometimes I just need a wine break in the evenings.

Yes, I know these are terrible excuses. Especially since research shows that screen time leads to obesity in kids because they snack while watching and don’t pay attention to what's going in their mouths.

Dr. Jenna Glover, a child psychologist at Children’s Hospital Colorado, explains in this article that, "When we are in front of a screen, our body releases dopamine, which is a pleasure chemical," she says. "So, we really are potentially opening kids up to moving towards addiction.” This TV issue might be worse than I thought!

According to Craig Anderson, PhD, distinguished professor of psychology at Iowa State University, writes, "When kids watch a lot of fast-paced shows that switch quickly from scene to scene, they may later have trouble when they need to focus in the classroom." Lord knows I have a hard time reading a book these days because Facebook has shortened my attention span.

Whatever the case, I’m not going to beat myself up about this. As busy parents in a digital age, we do the best we can. I was recently at a neighbor's house and the mother told me her 2 ½-year-old was also a TV addict. While I was there, her daughter was a hot mess and had to be dragged out kicking and screaming when the TV was turned off. This mom did make me feel better by telling me that her 4-year-old has eventually become less addicted to the drug — I mean TV. So there’s hope.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children under the age of 5 only watch one hour of TV a day, so maybe my husband wins this battle. According to experts, here are a few ways you can wean off the addiction:

1. Distract them: Get your kids a toy or play a game they love right after the screen goes off.

2. Give them control: Let your kid turn off the screen after their shows are over so they feel in control.

3. Get clear: Get clear and agree on an amount of screen time that works for your family.

4. Stay strong: It's hard to hear your little ones cry and wail, but eventually they will feel better. Remember who is in charge and create limits that you think are right for them!

5. Be a role model: Keep your phone and gadgets far away if you expect your kid to not to want to watch videos on it. Be the change you want to see!

I can’t "turn back time" but I will sing it loudly at karaoke. And although we're not perfect parents, I actually feel at peace right now with our TV watching after doing the research. Because whether it's one or two hours a day (or five on travel or sick days), does it all really matter if we're happy and living a great life together as a family? Not at all, and I know my husband would agree.