The Importance Of Setting Healthy Intentions As A Parent

The school year has begun — and while my almost 4-year-old is living his best life with a brand-new class and teacher, clothing and after-school activities, it’s Mom's turn to put some intentions out there.

Intentions are similar to goals, but instead of focusing on the accomplishment or end result, they focus on the journey. Believe it or not, the fastest way to make something happen in your life is by not being desperate or attaching yourself to a specific desired result.

One fellow mom I know, Natalie, brings her whole family in on her intentions. She says, “It's been so great to get our family in on 'intention-setting' as goals for our crew. My husband and I each pick a word or phrase to guide us for the year. For 2019, mine was, 'Be better,' and that applied to my writing, my thinking, working out my interactions with my kids, eating, taking care of myself, etc. With a 6-year-old and a 3-year-old, it was a graceful way to just improve a bit more than the last year. (I'm practicing kindness, can you tell?)”

Natalie shares that her husband Thomas's intention was pretty humorous. “His was, 'F it,' but more of a, 'Screw it!' or, 'Let it go.' The thing that has been amazing is how many times I've called upon his words (many, many times this year), and how many times he's used my mantra. It's been cool to see how we are each supporting each other with these words, and how they've become a little 'code' for our parenting, too.”

Now it’s time to dig deep, pick your own words and create a fabulous year for yourself. What do you want to see happen? Here are some of my intentions this year:

Focus On What’s Important
Sure, I can redo my kitchen (and it needs a renovation, big time!) and make enough money so I can buy that new iPhone with the awesome portrait photo option, but I might need to go deeper. There’s more to life than the material world, which can never fully satisfy us anyway. This year, I want to focus on the things that matter: family (aka my husband), good friends and self-care!

Stay Present As A Parent
Time is flying faster than an airplane with my son. He’s running like a sprinter, playing fun games with friends and taking things in like a sponge. As a stay-at-home-mom, it's easy to take every day for granted and sometimes want to be somewhere else — alone. But next year he’s supposed to go to Kindergarten and will spend more time in school. So I’m intending to enjoy every fun and insane moment this year together.

Create Mental and Physical Health
The evidence is clear: Without spending some quality time with ourselves each week and doing things to rejuvenate our mind and spirit, we are a mess. Activities like working out, taking a walk or even reading a book or journaling is a necessity. I even did some Reiki this week with a friend and it felt incredible! Recently, I also started taking a few Bikram yoga classes each and it’s changed my world. I’m calmer, more grounded and I see life more clearly — well, usually. The point is, scheduling self-care for yourself weekly is just as important as taking your kid to school.

Find Work I Enjoy
I grew up passing up doing things I loved for a living because I thought that nothing was possible. Journalism? "Too competitive," I told myself. Music? "You’re just not that good," I thought. Instead, I took jobs for money and they lead me somewhere empty and unfulfilling. After the age of 40, I realized that the only way to be happy was to find work I enjoyed versus jobs that just pay up. As they say, do what you love and the money will follow!

Get Rid of To-Do Lists
A few weeks ago, my father passed away at the age of 91. He reminded me that life is precious and to appreciate every day. I will take his memory with me and replace every to-do list that makes me dizzy with "joy lists" instead. Whether that's going to the park with my boy, hanging out at home or celebrating our birthdays, I'm going to plan for more joy and less running around!

Enjoy the new school year — and while your children are hopefully having fun in class and making friends, make sure to put out some intentions for a wonderful year filled with new possibilities for yourself too!

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