This Is One Of The Biggest Stressors For Parents Today

The other morning I was having coffee with a friend and getting the inside scoop on her stay-at-home mom life. “The girls are doing fine, the husband is pretty good but there’s just one thing that has been really tough!” I perked up, expecting to hear some big bombshell story. Then she explains that the hardest thing going on in her life has to do with her messy home!

"The house is always a complete disaster. The girls make a mess in every room they go into and I can't keep up with it all," she said.

I was a little surprised that this was a real issue compared to all the challenges in life, but then a couple days later a headline came up on my news feed that read, "The Biggest Stresses For Parents Are A Messy House And Not Enough Sleep." The survey mentioned in the article found that 60 percent of parents said that "the state of their house causes them the most stress as a parent."

Professional organizer Toni Ann Palladino agrees with this study and says that if your home does not feel in order, it can be very stressful for families. "In addition to everything going on, like work, school and after-school activities, piles of laundry, cooking and having to clean the house can really put you over the edge," says Palladino.

Melissa Maker, cleaning expert and founder of Clean My Space adds, "There is such a pressure to raise brilliant, healthy and well-adjusted children in a clean home, get eight hours of sleep a night, work a job and have a social life. We simply can’t do it all. I have known for years now how much a clean (or messy) space can affect one’s mental health and feeling of wellbeing. It intensifies when additional stressors are added into the mix. We as parents want to do everything right, but we’ve also have to give ourselves and one another more leeway to be imperfect."

As for me, we have a two-bedroom apartment so there are fewer rooms to worry about! Still, my husband is the neat one in the family and I can see his blood pressure starting to rise when the toys pile up or our storage unit gets overloaded. But when he sees me throw things away — like a bag of old clothing or a piece of furniture— the endorphins start flowing and he becomes thrilled with me (which is how I get my way with things sometimes, wink wink).

Palladino says it's important to get the kids involved to keep your home in order. She says, "I don't think parents are as strict as they used to be. Parents are fearful that their children will hate them if they give structure, chores or discipline. It's not true though! I have found in my years that the kids who grow up without structure are more resentful towards their parents because they don't know how to have a handle on things. My mother taught me at a young age to do my own laundry, set the table for dinner, prep meals, sew, make my bed, put my clothes away, etc. and I'm a better person for it."

Here are some other tidying-up tips and suggestions from Palladino and Maker:

Have the kids help out

For small children, the best and most important thing is to have the child clean up one game/toy at a time, before taking out another.

Make a playtime area and create rules

Have an area where the toys/games are easily accessible to take out and put away. For a child who doesn't listen, they will not be allowed to play with ANY toys until those are cleaned up. With young children it's repetitive. Say the same thing over and over until one day it finally clicks and then offer a reward.

Get a tri-laundry sorter

Laundry in general is stressful but nothing is uglier than a giant pile of laundry that you have to sort through. Have a tri-laundry sorter in a readily available area (hallway, bathroom, a place where kids can deposit their laundry and learn about sorting and colors).

Use new folding and storing techniques

Embrace alternative techniques for storing and putting away clothes. For socks, underwear and PJs, put them away in drawers unfolded, which is time saving. Also, try to roll your clothes like sushi or a burrito and stick it in a drawer. It's easier than folding, takes less time and still looks neat.

Utilize baskets

Place baskets at the top and bottom of the stairs because when you notice something that belongs to anybody it can all be corralled into a basket that can be taken up or down stairs in a big bundle.

Declutter and give away

And then of course, you can declutter by taking your old stuff to the Goodwill every month to keep your partner extra happy.

No matter what, remember you're not the only person with two hands who can tidy up. Get everyone in on the clean-up team at home so you can live with less stress and more coffee talk, where you chat about real dramatic issues.

Other Parenting News:

• 7 Ways Parents Can Stop Themselves From Losing Their Tempers
• Tidying Up: How To Declutter Our Lives As Parents
  
• How To Transition From City Life To The Suburbs