Tips On Traveling Without Kids For The First Time

I just went away for three nights without my child, which is something that has never happened before — mainly because of my own guilt and fear. Plus, I was convinced my child and family would fall apart without me, or I would fall apart without them.

Of course, that’s just a story to tell ourselves, right? On second thought, I am the only one who hears my child in the middle of the night (I once saved him when he fell into the crack between his bed and the wall, but I try not to hold that against my lovely husband).

In any case, a couple of weeks ago, I had no choice but to leave my almost 4-year-old for a few nights. My 91-year-old father was in this hospital and I wanted to be by his side. I was thankful that my boy has been extra-attached to his father lately and doesn’t need me around as much, especially when I'm in the same room as my husband and they play Batman. So I snuck away mid-game, and he wasn't that sad to see me go.

A few hours later, I was on a plane sitting a few seats next to a mom with three kids under the age of 5 and it was chaos. A calming appreciation came over me, and I was pretty happy to be on my own.

I missed my family too, but the trip was eye-opening and here’s what I discovered:

Kids Can Handle a Mom Break
This does depend on age of course, but my almost 4-year-old actually survived me being away for a few nights, which was a surprise! He went to school in the morning and played after school and got through his routine. He did ask about me here and there and even told the waitress at the diner that he was going to go to Florida to get his mommy. But in general, he survived a little break from mommy and never fell through a crack!

Getting Back to Ourselves is Easy
Sometimes I get nervous about my child getting too big and not needing me anymore. What will I do with myself when he can cook waffles and drive himself to school? How will I cope? I forgot that I spent 34 years alone without kids and, well, it’s not such a bad feeling. Spending full days and evenings alone, even though in a very tough circumstance, felt normal. I got into my zone again and part of me feels guilty saying this, but it felt great!

Solo Trips are Needed
I’ve put off taking trips on my own on my for almost four years, but now I do not doubt that solo getaways are the perfect mommy recharger. As a full-time mom, I don’t get much time off. And while I love being with my boy all day, being alone to connect with yourself is beyond important for the soul and spirit. Once we are recharged and refreshed we can be better moms and wives, so everyone wins!

Our Partners Can Use Some Serious Bonding Time
When do our hubbies ever get quality and quantity time with our kids? Ever since we had a baby, my boy and I had a special attachment, mainly because I was around most of the time. And also because Mommy always comes first, right? Well, sometimes. In this new Daddy phase of life, it was so nice for my husband to have a few days of special bonding time. They played as if they were real animals, visited nature centers and parks and even hit a snazzy restaurant or two together.

I’ll Be Back Again, But for How Long?
My mom has a seven-day cruise booked in December, and while her spirits are down now, she hopes she will look forward to the trip one day soon. But who will she go with? (Yes, sadly, my father passed away a few days after my visit.) My mother asked me to go with her but I don't know if I can do it. If I can go away for four nights, is seven nights almost the same thing? On second thought, cruises aren't for me and I'll have to plan another three- to four-night solo getaway on dry land!

Still that doesn't mean all parents will feel the same the first time they travel sans kids. Fellow mom Laura says her first solo trip was harder than expected. "I booked a room at a seaside motel that our family had frequented often. My husband sent flowers to the room to surprise me. It was slightly offseason and though I did get some writing work done and I did enjoy some of it, as a mom of four kids with a husband, I am embarrassed to say that I was profoundly lonely and was furious at myself for that! I missed the crazy and I missed my kids," she explains.

Eventually, Laura came around, though."I've since traveled solo for business as a writer for a firm and was fine. I think it was that first time away from my entire family and I had fantasized about what true silence would be like, and to write in peace. But I found out that it was not what I had envisioned," she says.

Traveling alone without our family can feel so weird and so right at the same time. I hope you get to plan some solo adventures under better circumstances. Of course, coming back home and kissing your little ones hello again is the sweetest moment of all!

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