What To Do When Your Kids Won't Stop Sleeping In Your Bed

There’s nothing like relaxing in a big cozy bed after a long day as you read a few pages of your latest book and overdose on Netflix. But for many of us, this sacred space has been invaded by our kids!

Sure, some families treasure a sweet shared bed space, but for everyone else, the separation between bed and bebe is a necessity. Recently, a few friends have admitted they are exhausted and are also neglecting the "romance" in their lives because their kids refuse to sleep alone in their own rooms. And if you’ve ever slept next to a toddler, you may also wake up with a few black and blue marks. They will kick you where it hurts!

I deal with many tough issues, like getting my 35 pound 3-year-old to walk down the street without my carrying him, but thankfully my kid never insisted on sleeping in our bed. After six weeks in a bassinet beside us, we kissed our sweet baby goodnight in his own crib.

One of my friends also avoided bed sharing through the baby stage, but when her 2-year-old got sick a few months ago, she let her sleep next to her for comfort. She got a taste of the good life in a warm bed next to Mommy and Daddy, and that was when everything backfired. Now, my friend's daughter never wants to go back to her room.

On a recent play date, another mom told me that two out of her three kids sleep in her bed, which means her husband is displaced and has to fend for himself at night in another room, which he is understandably not too happy about.

This mom doesn’t ever sleep well and has tried many times to put her girls back in their own beds. But in the middle of the night they find her and wake her up, so she's stopped bothering. Plus, she admitted that part of her secretly likes the closeness she feels from sleeping together.

Sure, getting your children to sleep in their own beds is sometimes easier said than done. But it is not impossible! I checked in with sleep expert Brooke Nalle from sleepy on hudson, LLC and here's what she recommends:

1. Pick a date to announce new sleep rules and then start that night. Make a visual flow chart for your child to follow which ends with parent cuddling in bed with child — in the child's bed.

2. Then implement the new routine, the new flow, and end the routines in child's room. If he screams and protests, stick with it and stay consistent. If he wakes up take him back to his room and stay with him until he goes to sleep.

3. After two to three nights of step one, depending on the temperament of your child, sit just outside of his room while he’s going to sleep. If he comes out or protests take him right back and tell him that you’ll be just outside of his room. Show him the pillow where you are sitting and be calm and patient and consistent. If he wakes up at night take him back to his room and stay with him till he goes to sleep.

4. Gradually move further away at bedtime, and focus on positive achievements rather than getting angry.

5. Some parents use gates on either the child’s door or on the parents' door to set a physical limit and prevent the child from leaving his room.

Parents need to realize that habits are never as bad as they seem, and with a little patience and creative thinking, they can be broken. Today, I told my boy my back is broken and he needs to walk up our stairs to our apartment. Plus, I gave him a video to watch at the same time, and all of a sudden he can walk! (Okay, it's not perfect but it's a start.)

For all the parents challenged by bed sharing, with a little positivity and perseverance you will enjoy your sacred space again. You must, for the sake of your marriage and good Netflix binging.