'Moms Talk' Q & A: Do You Monitor Your Child's Facebook Page?

Each week the council will answer a question on parenthood posed to them by readers or another member of council.

This week, the Moms Council addresses monitoring of children's Facebook pages and social networking sites. This issue arose recently with a niece in middle school who listed her status as "in a relationship," only to have her mother see it and demand it be changed since she was too young to have a boyfriend.

Nowadays, it's an issue pretty much all parents face. Let's see what Moms Council members have to say.

Susan Jerome: I firmly believe in watching over the children and their Facebook page. I told my children that they would have to friend me if they were going to have a Facebook page. There is way too many dangers out there on the computer and I was going to monitor the page to make sure everything was in line with our family values.
 
Since my children are older, I no longer watch over them as diligently, but I still watch! I know they have Twitter accounts but I don't have one and have no plans on getting one. There is just so much out there! I trust that at their ages, I no longer have to monitor everything they do. They have proven to be trustworthy.
 
If I had younger children I would seriously consider when they would be allowed to have a Facebook page or Twitter account. It would depend on their maturity.
 
I don't believe anything should be "private" from a parent when they are young. If it has to be private, then they might be trying to hide something or they may be heading in the wrong direction, unbeknownst to them, being guided by others. If we are aware of it, as parents, we can change that direction before it is too late.

Kim Zannetti: While we think that a child's privacy is important, we also realize that social media poses some very real, serious dangers. When our children first got their cell phones, we shared with them that while we would not do it everyday, we would be checking their texting, etc.

We shared that it had nothing to do with our trust for them, but the fact that they could quickly find themselves in trouble due to the actions/words of others.  There is just too much at stake. Working at a high school, I see firsthand how young people get into serious trouble, never knowing that a simple text could cause so much trouble.  We are talking about their futures (acceptance to colleges, ability to secure home loans...)

Facebook is a whole other box of worms. Younger people just don't realize who can see everything they post, and unfortunately, there are some very sick people in this world. Not only a safety issue, but once again, college admissions officers share routinely that they check Facebook accounts. There have been several students who have had their college admissions revoked due to inappropriate Facebook activity.
 
We have shared with our children that if you wouldn't say it in front of your parents, grandparents, priest or teachers, you shouldn't be texting it or putting it on Facebook. It is just that simple.