Community Corner
The Colonial School District Labeled The 21 Types Of Zoomers
We're all social distancing, stuck at home, no way to contact each other. Except we do have a way to contact each other.
2020-12-16
by Koseli Thakali, Eighth Grade, Colonial Middle School (CMS)
Reprinted from CMS Scoop, Issue 1
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We're all social distancing, stuck at home, no way to contact each other. Except we do have a way to contact each other. The primary form of interacting now is Zoom. If you've ever used Zoom, you'll realize there are different ways to use it and different people that use those ways. And so it's about time those people be labeled.
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1. The Glitcher
These people always seem to get kicked out from Zoom meetings. Whenever they speak, it's either in robot or Darth Vader language. When the teacher tries to call on them they get away easily.
2. The Ghost
They're never there. You ask them a question in break-out rooms and they won't respond. Their cameras are always turned off, and so is their mic.
3. The Gamer
Seated in a very large, comfy-looking swivel chair, these people have headsets, light-up keyboards, and fancy microphones. They also are probably gaming while pretending to listen to you.
4. The Participator
The savior of the class, when no one can answer these people save the rest from the awkwardness by participating in class. Probably the teacher's favorite, but no one can confirm that.
5. The Unmuted
Oops, they forgot they were unmuted and said some pretty rude things. Sometimes they forget you can hear their parents yelling at their siblings.
6. The Muted
What? We can't hear you. You're muted. These people try to speak but end up talking to themselves until someone has the guts to tell them that they are, in fact, muted.
7. The One With the Cool Backgrounds
Every class is something different, whether they're in space, at the beach, or some alternative dimension, they always have a virtual background for every occasion.
8. The Mobile
A close up of their grubby finger is guaranteed when someone is on mobile. You'll see their shaky face and arms tired from holding their device.
9. The Silhouette
A blanket of darkness covers their face. They picked the worst spot to zoom from because the lighting is horrible. Most of the time they're seated right in front of a window.
10. The One at the Bottom
They dwell at the bottom of the screen, most of the time you can only see their hair or forehead. A few teachers mocked us for this.
11. The Pet Lover
The fun distraction. Maybe it's a dog, or a cat, or even a chicken. They're petting, cuddling, or hugging their animal. Very fun to watch and be distracted by.
12. The Second Monitor
Constantly looking off to the side, The Second Monitor has a second monitor, whether it's used for work or games is up to them.
13. The One With Family Cameos
They're probably in the living room, or dining room because you can see their family members eating, playing, cooking, and sometimes going to the bathroom.
14. The Texters
They look down then smile, then another person in the zoom reaches over to grab their phone, then looks down and smiles. They're obviously texting.
15. The Twins
They're in the same house and same zoom but on different devices. They can often see each other in their background.
16. The Ceiling
You can't see them. Just their ceiling fan.
17. The Reactor
The one who actually takes the time to use the "reactions." They clap and thumbs up at you. Sometimes they're overused.
18. The Bookcase Show-off
Look at all the trinkets and junk on my impressive bookcase. Sometimes they're actually virtual backgrounds.
19. The Reacher
If you've ever wanted a view of their chin, you're in luck. They constantly reach past their device to grab pens, papers, and food.
20. The Foodie
Always eating. Gourmet food or McDonald's. Sometimes you can even see someone cooking for them in the background.
21. The Reflector
They have glasses. You can see everything that goes on in their screen because of the reflection in their glasses. Poor souls don't have privacy.
There are many more too, and of course combinations of them. Are your family members always interrupting your Zooms? Or maybe it's your pet. Do you have audio problems that make you sound like Shrek? Which one are you? Whichever one you are "be a good one." (By the words of Abraham Lincoln.)
Click here to find this article and more in the latest issue of the CMS Scoop!
This press release was produced by the Colonial School District .The views expressed here are the author’s own.