Middletown Woman Writes Book About Faith & Surviving Grief

MIDDLETOWN, RI—Carolyn Shugart's husband was 48 years old when he came home from work and died of a heart attack.

She was only 39. She had married husband Tom at age 17.

His death was a terrible blow emotionally. She described feeling as if her body had been cut in two.

Then as the shick wore off, she had to deal with everyday life demands. She realized she was not prepared financially. Her husband had not signed her up for survivor's death benefits, so she found herself in San Diego with $35,000 in insurance and bills to pay. They had just purchased a new home two months before. Now, she was raising one young son and another in high school without her husband. Two other adult children were on their own.

Shugart, who lives in Middletown but spends the winter months in South Carolina, had been brought up the child of a domestic missionary. Religion was a big part of the family life. She relied on God's help, she says.

After her husband died, she became more convinced she had heard the Lord speak to her while they were living in Newport.

They had been renting a house on Kay Street not far from the Viking Hotel, she said, while her career military husband was stationed in Newport. It was January day.

"It had snowed," she said. The sun was melting it, but there was still ice and snow and it dazzled in the sun. She has taken a walk around Eustis Avenue and Easton's Pond. As she walked back along her driveway, she heard a loud, authoritative voice say, "You don't want to bury him here."

Of course, she didn't believe at first that she'd just heard the Lord.

Shugart's father was a minister in the Church of Christ, and direct communication with the deity isn't part of that church's beliefs.

But later she broke with her father's church and ultimately embraced a different faith.

"I do believe God speaks with you," she said. He's been helping her all her life, she said.

So when her husband suddenly said he wanted to leave Newport and relocate in San Diego, she didn't object. They'd lived in Newport about 2 1/2 years, and she had decided she wanted to retire here. But, despite her own preferences, she went along with his plans.

Then he died.

Faced with taking care of the family alone, Shugart rolled up her sleeves, went back to school and earned an associate's degree. She had work experience in government, so she eventually managed to find a job in administration.

Then seven years after her husband died, her church asked if she would share her experiences surviving grief and sudden loss of a spouse.

She wrote s little essay for the panel, and the essay in some ways provided the basis of the book. It's published with the book as an appendix, and she hopes it will help people dealing with loss.

Shugart writes about some mistakes she made along the way, but added she has found happiness as a great-grandmother. She retired from her government job with a six-figure salary, took a job working with pregnant unwed mothers, ultimately moved back to Newport and learned how to sail, which she still enjoys.

Her message is this: “Even though tough circumstances are thrown at you, with God’s help, you can have a wonderful, peaceful life.”

The book is available at Barnes & Noble and on Amazon. Readers can also find a 20 percent discount if they buy it at http://www.lulu.com/shop/carol...