Brookfield Couple With Over 20 Kids To Adopt Another Child

BROOKFIELD, WI—Lori O'Brien and her husband, Dan O'Brien, lead busy lives with their 14 adopted and three biological children. They have also raised a nephew and four foster children and now have more than 20 grandchildren and one great-grandchild on the way.

Nine children 6 to 15 now live in their Brookfield home. And Lori O'Brien just announced an upcoming adoption for March 26: A 12-year-old boy will officially become part of the large family. (Patch won't identify him until the adoption process is complete.)

Patch reached out to the child's social worker but haven't heard back as of Thursday afternoon.

The boy has been with the family for almost two years and has been in the Jefferson County foster care system since he was 6. "We met him and could see this little boy had great potential. We wanted to give him a chance," O'Brien told Patch.

Many of the children in the O'Briens' care have special needs. Some of the children in their care had been abused, according to the busy mom.

O'Brien said she tries hard not to hold bitterness towards birth families when a child comes from a difficult situation. "I recognize people are doing the best they can at the time," she said.

The couple has used both closed and open adoptions over the years. O'Brien said the children are told they are not victims of their circumstances. "We tell them they can be overcomers from their life situations. We also tell them to find good memories to treasure from their birth family," she said.

Every adopted child is given an adoption book that O'Brien makes. The book highlights the adoption but also gives a history of the child's life. It includes pictures and stories about their birth families. "We can't ever forget where they came from," she said.

Each adopted child is given the choice to change his or her name. The 12-year-old will be known by a new name after his adoption is finalized. "I think the kids like to do that because it is closing one chapter of their life and starting a new one," she said.

"A lot of love and enough energy"

Lori and Dan O'Brien married 38 years ago on Sept. 11. Dan is a mechanic, and Lori is a former nurse. Now she devotes her time to raising their children.

The couple were inspired to foster and adopt children after noticing a need in their community. "We have a lot of love and enough energy to open our homes," she said.

The goal of fostering is reunification generally, but if that doesn't happen a foster parent should be willing to adopt, she said.

The couple started fostering one of their daughter's friends. After that, their biological children encouraged them to continue doing it, she said.

Raising a household full of children can be difficult, but the couple uses creativity and praise to their advantage. The children can earn "O'Brien cash," fake money with Dan and Lori's faces on the bills. They earn the cash by getting dressed in the morning or brushing their hair, eating their food and doing chores.

O'Brien said once a child is in sixth grade, he or she learns how to do their own laundry. "My husband is the laundry king," she said. "He loves doing the laundry."

The kids can redeem their O'Brien cash in for a small prize or save up for bigger prizes. The kids can also lose their O'Brien cash by breaking the household such as hitting, telling a lie or other inappropriate behavior.

O'Brien said the reward system teaches them about responsibility and accountability.

Staying Connected

Before the pandemic, the family loved to go to Sky Zone, the Sussex Bowl and Wisconsin Dells.

"We utilize the Kids Bowl Free program in the Summer and Sussex Bowl has been amazing to our family. They are patient kind and understanding with our family," O'Brien said.

She also praised the staff at Sky Zone of Waukesha. They are always welcoming their family with open arms and even know most of the kids by name, according to the mom.

The pandemic has been challenging but the family makes sure they are staying safe.

"We follow the mask guideline ( although our twins do struggle with masks) good handwashing, lots of hand sanitizer and an over abundance supply of masks," O'Brien said.

The family is planning a trip to Branson, Missouri, to celebrate the newest adoption. They booked a two-bedroom room at Club Wyndham Branson at The Meadows. "We are praying and hoping they upgrade us to a three-bedroom to make sure everyone is comfortable," she said.

The soon-to-be adopted child wants to go to Dolly Parton's Stampede dinner show. "It would be a cool adoption dinner, but it is pricey," O'Brien said.

During the past summer, the kids spent a lot of time on the family's boat. O'Brien said they did tubing and some of them learned how to water ski. "A lot of the kids, when they first come to us, have very limited exposure to water," she told Patch.

The family tries to take the kids on road trips during the year in their 15-passenger van. They like to visit the state and local parks for hiking. O'Brien added they are crossing their fingers that Six Flags Great America will be open this season.

The couple tries to go for a date night twice a month on their own. "We try to do that so we stay connected and that we are refreshed. It is also a way we stay connected to the kids," she said.