Hello, neighbors. It's Wednesday in Mountain Brook and I'm back in your inbox to get you caught up on the most important things happening locally, including updates on:
Two years later and I still have massive bitterness flashbacks regarding the insane overreaction to covid.
You locked us down. You told us we couldn't leave our houses, see our loved ones, or send our kids to school.
Don't even try to pretend you didn't do it. I will never forget, nor will I ever forgive.
But first, today's weather:
Nice with plenty of sun. High: 74 Low: 50.
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Here are the top stories in Mountain Brook today:
NASA's DART mission ended in disaster today as one of their female space drivers crashed a spacecraft directly into an oncoming asteroid. To save face, NASA is now claiming the collision was completely on purpose. (Babylon Bee)
"I'll tell you what, hurricanes have been tormenting Florida for too long. Not on my watch!" said DeSantis to a crowd of screaming fans. "So you know what? We're gonna load this hurricane onto a plane and fly it north. Martha's Vinyard, you'd better board up your 10,000 square foot mansions and cancel your polo matches, because Ian is on its way!" (Babylon Bee)
With the election of right-wing candidate Giorgia Meloni as Italy's first female Prime Minister, the Left has announced they no longer support strong, independent women. "This is an absolute disaster. Maybe women do belong in the kitchen," said Italian Leftist Atlantic contributor Gianna Mozzarella. "If we had spent less time empowering women, maybe we could have stopped this far, far-right, right-wing fascist, far-extremist far, far, Nazi right-extremist right-winger from getting elected." (Babylon Bee)
Local man John Falco received the tragic news today from his doctor that all the things happening to his body are completely normal, he's simply 40 years old now. "Absolutely devastating," said Mr. Falco as his wife hugged him tearfully. "I can't believe everyone lives like this. I figured I had like, pneumonia, hepatitis and severe rheumatoid arthritis all at the same time. Turns out this is just getting old." (Babylon Bee)
The top-secret military base Area 51 is being overrun by curious visitors this morning after former president Trump announced he had declassified the installation in his mind several years ago. "Yes, yes, I totally declassified Area 51, completely and totally. In my mind I did it," said Trump in a recent interview with Sean Hannity. "The President, which I was, and some would stay still am, can totally do that. Other presidents were too afraid to open up Area 51, but not me. It's my executive privilege. You're welcome!" (Babylon Bee)
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This Is Alabama: "High Falls, always a pleasure! Thanks for sharing, @findingbeautyphotography! #thisisalabama" (This Is Alabama via Instagram)
Alabama Ballet: "Alabama Ballet presents 'At Home': an in-studio performance of fresh new works with refreshments and affordably priced tickets. October 14-16 and 21-23. Get tickets now: alabamabllet.org. Can't attend any of the shows? We will be livest..." (Alabama Ballet via Instagram)
SoulGrown • Alabama: "There’s lots happening this fall! 🍁 Join us in the fun with 6 food festivals happening all around North Alabama! Learn more in our bio!" (SoulGrown • Alabama via Instagram)
Mountain Brook Magazine: "💴 Shop, Save and Share is here! 💴 Nearly 250 Birmingham businesses including @shopheezies are participating in The Junior League of Birmingham’s annual 12-day shopping extravaganza. Starting tomorrow, Wednesday, Sept. 28-Sunday, Oc..." (Mountain Brook Magazine via Instagram)
Alabama Heritage: "Extended deadline alert! Alabamians have another month to submit nominations to the Alabama Historical Commission annual Places in Peril list. Places in Peril is an annual program that highlights significant endangered properties and br..." (Alabama Heritage via Instagram)
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Alrighty, you're all caught up for today! See you tomorrow morning for another update.
— Celeste "Pirate Queen" Wetzel
About me: The original Pirate Queen and QA engineer for Patch. Did you know that this week I have worked at least two fourteen hour days? This sprint has been nuts and the engineering team has been keeping me hopping non-stop. I'm exhausted and very close to needing a vacation.
Have a news tip or suggestion for an upcoming Mountain Brook Daily? Contact me at celeste.wetzel@patch.com
