How Long Will My Daughter Need Me?

Our daughters will always need us. It’s just going to look different as she moves throughout her years.

For me, I remember those sticky little hands pining for me to pick her “uppy.” While she no longer wants me to literally carry her, she still needs me to hold her. As a 14 year old, sometimes that’s a side embrace on the couch, a dance in the kitchen, a reassuring hug before bed, or a gentle head scratch for just a moment in the car. I tell her things like’ “I’ve got you” and “I’ll always be here for you.” With these verbal exchanges, I am holding her not only with my words but in my mind and heart.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t do it right sometimes. That offer for a snuggle on the couch can be declined real quick. But I don’t take it personally. She’s moving towards independence and my task is to “be near.”

I sure miss those sticky fingers days but with it came a relentless demand I am glad to forgo. I’ll hold that vision of her reaching for me as a cherished memory and keep going at my daughter’s natural pace. I’m grateful for all stages of life and appreciate the independence she is gravitating towards.

While it can feel sad and scary as a mom to watch her grow a distance from me, I know she’s going to be ok. Even when her heart breaks, even when she is at her lowest, I know she will will have the wherewithal to make it through. How? Because she is remarkably resilient. She is learning everyday how to work through the challenges of life. As long as her mom does not swoop in to save her from every hard time, she will build strength that will get her through.

She’s always going to need me, but just not in the ways she had before. Instead of resisting the inevitable change, I welcome it with open arms. I invite you to do the same!

Here’s to growing Wise Girls!