Save Yourself; Save Your Kid

It’s time to get real.

We need to stop telling our kids what to eat and how/when to exercise.

Here are three things you can count on from your middle or high school child:

1. They will push back and find your weak points.
2. They will decide for themselves which of your traits and habits they will either emulate or reject by adopting the opposing traits and habits.
3. You still have influence on them, but mostly through what you model and the integrity you display merging your stated values and your actions.

This article on CNN.com on the alarming increase of obesity related cancers among younger adults and kids is unsettling, but shouldn’t be surprising. We worry about our kids’ school performance, choice of friends, the lure of the internet and its myriad of dangerous distractions, the temptation of smoking, vaping and drugs and a host of other potentially risky behaviors toward which they may be drawn.

Meanwhile we are planting the seeds that will guide their choices about their lifelong health with our own behaviors. How we eat and model exercise habits says volumes about not only how deeply we invest in the importance of the corresponding benefits, but how important those priorities should be to them as well. There is no more profound statement we make to our most impressionable students than the actions we take for ourselves.

Want to know your kid better? Go for a bike ride with a bag lunch (or head for a deli or coffee house) and share a meal together, talking about how good it feels to “earn” your meal.

Concerned your child is getting too much screen time and not enough sun and fresh air? Plan a hike or a trip to the beach or a lake and walk around, exploring the landscape while getting reacquainted.

Think it’s a good idea to get stronger and lower your risk of injury? Hire a personal trainer and share the sessions with your child. The act of becoming a student again alongside your child displays humility and open-mindedness that dissolves the authority/controlled dynamic that may be creating an obstacle to your child’s willingness to open up to you. And it will most likely create a beautiful bonding experience with them you’ll enjoy the riches of for years to come.

Another great idea to bring you together and lay a foundation for a healthy future is to plan a family meal night whose menu you create together, challenging yourselves to make it creative and nourishing. You can cook together or split the cooking and the clean-up and swap roles from week to week.

It doesn’t have to be difficult. My vegetarian daughter and I made soup last night with creamy tomato bisque as a base, and then added frozen spinach and peas, cheese tortellini and black beans for protein. It was yummy, fun and so easy. Tonight she’s with her mom, so I’ll pan fry chicken apple sausage and store that separately to add to the soup when I’m on my own.

It’s not too late to keep either our kids, or ourselves from developing life-threatening diseases like heart disease, diabetes and many forms of cancer prematurely. The question is, how important is it to you to take action yourself?

Your child is watching and deciding for themselves based on your choice.

Dan Taylor, ACE, NASM-CPT, is owner and head trainer at Pleasanton-based Tri Valley Trainer. They provide personal training and small group fitness solutions at their studio and an innovative, medically endorsed web-based group healthy eating coaching program.