The Will to Be Well

The name of the main subject of this article has been changed for privacy reasons. 

It was the first time I’d seen Mina in a few months and I was eager to see her. She always has a warm, welcoming and vibrant energy about her, but I wasn’t sure what to expect as I carefully placed the surgical mask over my face before entering her room.

It was a necessary precaution for cancer patients with her diagnosis who are undergoing this particular phase and type of chemotherapy. The possibility of developing opportunistic infections from contact with outside visitors is just too big a risk given how compromised the patient’s immune system is at this point.

But she was her usual beautiful self, filled with light, enthusiasm and hope. She even joked about moving toward sharing my hairstyle (I’m bald). She was wearing a lovely, colorful head wrap that had been given to her by a close friend because her hair loss pattern wasn’t “even enough yet” to go all the way.

We talked a little bit about her illness, the onset and treatment, and, of course, possible outcomes. But much more vivid in my mind is the determination Mina displayed to retain her dignity, self-empowerment and quality of life in the present moment and going forward.

I met her at an inspirational book club we both belong to a few summers ago. Since we were the only ones who showed up at the bookstore that day, a seed was planted that blossomed into a friendship I value deeply. We have sons the same age and are about the same age ourselves. We both write and share spiritual interests and influences.

As we talked in her hospital room a couple of weeks ago, the time passed quickly. There were a few tears, but, as always with her, mostly smiles and laughter.

She told me that she was grateful that she was a well-practiced, and as she put it, “Ninja” meditator. That was a key coping skill that allowed her to withstand the painful chemotherapy treatments.

When I left, I felt uplifted, faithful and filled with gratitude that I have someone as amazing as Mina in my life. There was no heaviness or darkness in the time we spent together. I’m convinced that her commitment to be as healthy — mind, body and soul — as she’s capable of being throughout this process is the reason.

Part of that process has been her deliberate and thoughtful updates through e-mails, texts and phone calls to her friends  and family. Her optimistic tone has been consistent from the beginning.

And so today, I’m thinking about her. I met another woman close to a year ago whom I look forward to introducing to Mina when she's feeling up to it. She’s a cancer survivor, as I know Mina will be soon.

During her treatment and afterward, this woman was deeply affected by her experiences with complementary therapies such as acupuncture, massage, guided visualization and meditation. They eased the side effects of chemotherapy and radiation treatments. And she realized a need existed to help those who could use financial assistance in accessing these modalities not usually covered by health insurance.

So she did something about it. She started a foundation that’s now providing that assistance to cancer patients in the Tri-Valley area. The website for the Sandra J. Wing Healing Therapies Foundation can be found here.

Like my friend Mina, she is determined to use her considerable personal power to make her corner of the world, and beyond, a better place.

I’m looking forward to introducing them.