Obituary: Abner Oakes, III, 87, of Hamden

HAMDEN, CT - (From Peter H. Torello & Son Funeral Home) Abner Oakes, III of Hamden died peacefully surrounded by family on May 29th. He was the loving husband of Cynthia Miller.

Born in Montreal, Quebec, he was the son of Abner Oakes and Marjorie Allyn Oakes; he lived in Hamden for more than 50 years and was an integral part of the Greater New Haven community.

He attended Phillips Academy and graduated from Dartmouth College in 1956. After he left his active duty role in the Navy, he was a coach at Dartmouth for 10 years, working with the college’s soccer, lacrosse, and, most of all, ice hockey programs.

He took over the varsity ice hockey team in 1964 and won an Ivy League championship. He left Dartmouth in 1970 and moved to Hamden, CT, where he began what would be his career for almost 50 years, as a casket salesman.

He opened up new territories for his employer and developed a wide network of clients that trusted and relied on him. Even in his 80s, he helped other salespeople connect with the multitude of people he knew in the New York and New England areas.

Abner did all that he could to foster community, no matter where he lived. In Hanover he helped to start the Hanover Youth Hockey Association; helped to build the youth hockey program when he moved to Hamden; and coached innumerable youth hockey teams, including those on which his sons played.

As a Navy veteran, he became interested in military veterans’ affairs. In 1973 he and Cynthia spearheaded the creation of a monument to veterans in Hamden’s Freedom Park, he founded the Hamden Veterans’ Commission and served as its chairman for several years, and in 2010 he was inducted into the Connecticut Veterans’ Hall of Fame.

Besides his wife, he is survived by his three sons, Abner, IV (Laura Jewett) of Bethesda, MD, Jeffrey (Margaret) of Manassas, VA, and David (Nancy) of North Haven, CT; his sister Nancy Stevenson Jackson of Lexington, KY; seven grandchildren; and a great-grandson.

Friends are invited to attend calling hours with the family on Sunday, June 6, from 3:00 to 6:00 pm at Peter H. Torello & Son Funeral Home, 1022 Dixwell Avenue, Hamden.

The funeral service is also open to friends and will take place at the same location on Monday, June 7, at 10:00 am.

A private burial service will follow.

Those that wish to honor Abner’s legacy can donate to the Wounded Warrior Project at https://www.woundedwarriorproject.org/.