Obituary: Anita Adler, 81, of New London

NEW LONDON, CT - (From Neilan and Sons Funeral Home) Anita Gail Adler, 81, of New London died May 28, 2020, at Lawrence + Memorial Hospital in the company of her loving husband and sons.

She was born to Anna (Bien) and Peter Cogan of South Orange, N.J. Sept. 21, 1938, during the height of the hurricane that ravaged the East Coast.

Anita was the youngest of five children and is predeceased by her Gold Star parents as well as her siblings, William Jay Cogan (USN), Elizabeth (Cogan) Morrison, Robert Cogan (USN), and Dorothy Anne Cogan.

In 1955 Anita embarked on the first great adventure of her life as a Girl Scout Mariner sailing on the brigantine Yankee, skippered by Capt. Irving Johnson, between Larchmont, N.Y. and New Brunswick, Canada. This experience, repeated in 1956, as well as summers spent with her family on the Jersey Shore instilled in her a deep love of the sea and all things nautical, especially lighthouses and sea glass!

Prior to graduating from Columbia High School in 1956 (Maplewood, N.J.), Anita met Russell D. Adler Jr. of Monroe, Mich. This accidental encounter on Oct. 5, 1955, at the old Madison Square Garden skating rink led to the second great adventure of her life.

After a short courtship Anita and Russ married Aug. 31, 1957, at Our Lady of Sorrows Church in South Orange, N.J., after which they honeymooned in the Poconos.

Anita and Russ moved to New London in 1957 where Russ was stationed with the Navy, and began a family in 1959 with the birth of their first son, Jeffery Peter. Anita held several jobs in New London until 1959, after which she dedicated all of her time to growing, educating, and nurturing her family.

Anita was a deeply caring woman whose love for children led to the birth of three more sons, William Donald, Daniel Shawn, and Dennis Michael between 1965 and 1973, and a later career in early childhood education.

As she often said, having children was the greatest gift because each child exposed her to new interests and expanded her world with each new adventure. In 1968, Anita and Russ welcomed her mother and sister, Dorothy Anne, into their home, caring for them both until their deaths in 1973 and 2015, respectively.

Anita was an active parishioner of St. Mary Star of the Sea Church, and served the church and associated school in many capacities, including teaching children's summer bible school and serving as a playground monitor.

She was also a gifted seamstress whose talents were employed at the former Memory Lane Doll and Toy Museum in the Olde Mistick Village where she created period costumes for the antique dolls on display.

Both she and Russ each dedicated over 20 years of service to New London Cub Scouts Pack 3, imparting important life lessons on hundreds of children, including their four sons.

As her sons grew, Anita began to explore new opportunities to help others, especially young children, first taking a job in 1988 at the new Lawrence + Memorial Childcare Center where she worked until 2000. She also earned an Associate Degree in Early Childhood Development from Three Rivers Community College, a decision fueled by her passion for education, both of herself and children.

In 2000, Anita began working for Waterford Public Schools with special needs children who affectionately referred to her as Ms. Anita. She continued this work she so loved until the current pandemic.

Anita and Russ loved boating and sailed the local waterways together for many years, venturing between New London, Block Island, and Eastern Long Island, stopping wherever they could to enjoy seafood dinners and engage in their other shared passion, ballroom dancing.

Anita was an avid swimmer and could, until recently, be seen swimming at the Lawrence + Memorial beach on Pequot Avenue. She was passionate about family holidays, in particular Christmas and Thanksgiving, but she also enjoyed St Patrick's Day when she could wear her green and listen to her favorite Irish tunes.

Anita waged a seven year battle with lung cancer, a disease she beat several times with the dedicated help of Dr. Gettinger, Dr. Hafez, Dr. Newton and their staff at Smilow Cancer Hospital at Yale New Haven.

She responded so favorably to several immunotherapy clinical trials that she was dubbed an "exceptional responder" and became something of a celebrity in oncology circles, eventually being featured in Yale Cancer Center and Smilow Cancer Hospital's 2018 edition of Breakthroughs, The Year in Review. Even now Anita's tumor cells and immune system are being studied at Yale to develop life-saving therapies for other cancer patients.

As she said at the time "If it's going to advance science, I'm excited about it." And as Dr. Gettinger said "Anita's contribution has paved the way to new discoveries that will benefit many." She underwent these treatments and tissue donations with grace and determination in the company of her husband and cousin, Sally Cogan. In the end Anita died of a stroke rather than the cancer she battled to a draw.

In addition to her parents and siblings Anita is predeceased by her son, William. She is survived by her husband of 62 years; her three sons and their spouses, Ellen Adler, Alexia Smith, and David Gevurtz; and five grandsons, Bryan Adler, Matthew Adler and his wife Samantha Adler, Aram and Elias Adler-Smith, and William Adler-Gevurtz.

She is also survived by her cousins, Thomas and Sally Cogan and their family; her nephews, Patrick Morrison and his wife Dorothy Perrucci, and Robert Cogan and his wife Martha Cogan; and her great-nieces, Shannon (Morrison) Reyes, Coleen (Morrison) Uhle and their families.

Anita's greatest legacy is the love she gave freely to everyone, the contributions she made to the fight against cancer, and her deep commitment to her family, friends and those in need.

Hers was a large tent under which she welcomed everyone, and her capacity for compassion, sympathy, and empathy is legend. She nurtured hundreds of children in the classroom, in her church, in her home, and in her heart, sharing with them, and everyone she encountered, the beauty of her smile, the joy of play, the power of learning, and the magic of bubbles.

Anita was conceived in love, she lived her life in love, and she died in love.

Due to the ongoing pandemic there will be no calling hours. A service will be arranged when it is safe for everyone to meet and celebrate Anita's amazing life. In lieu of flowers, please send donations in her name to Yale Cancer Center Development, 4th Floor, 157 Church Street, PO Box 7611, New Haven, CT 06519-0611.